Total pages in book: 61
Estimated words: 59471 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 297(@200wpm)___ 238(@250wpm)___ 198(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 59471 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 297(@200wpm)___ 238(@250wpm)___ 198(@300wpm)
When she’s gone, I walk into my shower and stare in the mirror. Not much has changed about me, except the light in my eyes is gone. I know what I’m missing, it’s happiness. I find it quite interesting how important happiness truly is. People say they can live without it, so long as they’re living. But what’s living without happiness? It’s an empty, vacant world with no joy. I don’t want that world.
I get into the shower and sigh as the warm water eases my aching muscles. When I’m done, I get out and pull a towel off the rack before walking out and digging through my closet. I pick a pair of cotton shorts and a black singlet top. I pull a brush through my hair and then tie it up messily before walking out to join the others.
When I step out, I let my eyes scan the four men at the table. Aside from Ace, I haven’t spoken to any of them. I take in their attractive faces and grim expressions. Nothing has changed. They’re still the same as always. Angel stands when he sees me, and surprises me by coming over and pulling me into his arms. His lips land on my forehead and stay there as though he’s breathing me in. I wrap my arms around him. I’ve missed him, I can’t deny that.
“I’m sorry. It don’t mean shit, I know, but we abandoned you, and we shouldn’t have.”
I shrug and look up at him. “It’s done now, all I care about is getting him home.”
“We’re going to do everything we can.”
I nod and hug him again, before being pulled into Bull’s arms, and then Rusty’s. Once we have moved past that, I walk into the kitchen where Ace is taking some ingredients out of the fridge to make breakfast. Cody is in his swing gurgling, so I make him a bottle and hand it to him. Then I go back into the kitchen to help Ace.
“What’re you making?” I ask.
“Omelet,” he says, smiling.
“Can I help?”
“Yeah, sure.”
He hands me some peppers, and I begin slicing them. Jenny comes into the kitchen and wraps her arms around Ace’s middle. My eyes bulge as I stare at the two of them. They’re together? Since when? Why didn’t they tell me? Jenny notices my expression and lets Ace go. Her eyes flash with guilt, and it takes me a minute to gather myself.
“We were going to tell you ...”
I swallow. Emotions begin swirling in the pit of my stomach, ones I truly don’t understand. I am happy for Jenny, heck, I’m happy for Ava who is curled up on Angel’s lap as if no time had passed between them. I’m happy they’re happy. I can’t control the overwhelming urge to cry, because, for the first time, I’m the one sitting alone with no one. My vision blurs, and I can’t seem to get myself together. I need to run; I need to go for a long, hard run and clear my head.
I taught myself how to run as a way of coping, and, so far, it has been the only thing to help when things get too much.
I’m sick of taking my emotions out on other people, it’s not fair.
“Willow, we’re sorry,” Jenny says softly.
I force a smile, even though my eyes are filled with tears. “I’m happy for you guys, truly I am ... I just ... all of this is really overwhelming.”
“I know,” Ace says, nodding.
“I’m going to take Cody for a run. I’ll be back soon, and we can talk.”
I turn and rush out of the kitchen, scooping Cody into my arms, and then I walk out without another word. I don’t know what to say, but I know I don’t want to be the one that rains on their parade. They deserve happiness, and there’s no way in hell I’m going to be the one to take that away from them.
I’ve already taken so much from them.
They deserve this.
They truly do.
2
When I’m back from my run, I put Cody down for his morning nap. I am just about to walk out and join everyone when my phone rings. Looking down, I see it’s my mother. Marvelous. I haven’t spoken to her for a while, and I know that I need to, but it’s still awkward at times, and it can be difficult to have a conversation with her and not get into an argument. I pick up the phone anyway.
Trying to be the good daughter and all that.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Willow, I’ve been calling for a few days. Where have you been?”
“Busy, sorry,” I lie. “How are you, Mom?”
“Well,” she says excitedly, “I was hoping to come and visit.”
Guilt slams into my chest. I know I should be excited, hell, I should tell her she can come because she’s making the effort, but every time she’s here ... we all just end up fighting. I can’t handle that right now. Not with everything that’s going on.