Total pages in book: 134
Estimated words: 126485 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 632(@200wpm)___ 506(@250wpm)___ 422(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 126485 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 632(@200wpm)___ 506(@250wpm)___ 422(@300wpm)
I hadn’t taken this marriage seriously because I never thought that Lorcan would. If I’d known what this bond meant for him, I probably would have thought twice before agreeing to help the police. Though, I hadn’t even been a great help to them considering Lorcan wasn’t very concerned about getting caught.
“I was desperate, you know. I didn’t think I could trust you, but despite that, I chose not to hide the bugs where they’d really hurt you.”
“I know.” Lorcan rubbed my shoulder lightly, and I almost purred. “Something good came of it though. We scared Desmond senseless and now he’s giving us the occasional tidbit of information about ongoing investigations. I doubt I would have ever risked torturing him if it hadn’t been for you.”
Desmond worked for Five-Leaf-Clover now? I didn’t even want to know what Lorcan had done to convince him. I nodded, deciding to change the direction of our conversation. “Maeve mentioned that your parents are your role models when it comes to marriage.”
Lorcan smiled sardonically. “What a good thing that you’re becoming best friends with my best friend’s wife so she can fill you in on everything.”
“She didn’t say much. She got me curious, though.”
“My parents were married for thirty-five years until my mother died of cancer. They had their ups and downs. My mother struggled with my father’s business activities, like you. But they fought for their marriage and eventually they were an inseparable unit. My father cared for my mother the last year of her sickness. That’s when he handed the business in Ireland over to my brother Balor. He was only fifty-four at the time. Much too young for a clan leader to retire.”
I had to admit I was surprised. It took a lot of patience, dedication and love to take care of a dying loved one. I wouldn’t have thought a Devaney was capable of that deep a level of connection. It seemed I had to work through my own misconceptions.
“And you want what they had?”
“Still have. My father still loves my mother. Despite many tasteless offers from women hungry for a powerful man, he hasn’t been with anyone since my mother died. And yes, that’s a bond I aim for.”
I swallowed. That was a lot to live up to. Not that a bond like that didn’t sound wonderful. “My mother’s views about love and marriage are far less romantic. Maybe that’s why I’m so jaded.”
Lorcan chuckled. “You based your pick of Patrick on your jaded views, I suppose. That’s why it’s good that I took the choice out of your hands and made you marry me.”
I huffed. Then, I became quiet, searching Lorcan’s face. “You really think we can be like that?”
“I’ll die before you, that’s a must,” he said with a smirk, but then he became very serious. He turned his upper body toward me and cupped my neck. “We won’t ever find out if we don’t try. I never wanted to risk trying because I was worried about failing, which is bullshit. You never get anywhere in life and love if you think that way. You made me want to risk failing.”
“I’m not sure I feel confident in us if you word it that way,” I muttered with a small laugh. But I had to admit, Lorcan’s words really made me want to try—and not fail. Was I crazy for striving for something I hadn’t even believed in prior to Lorcan, with someone like Lorcan? Maybe.
“But will you ever be able to forgive me for betraying you? I hated Patrick for cheating on me. I won’t ever be able to get over that.”
Lorcan’s expression tightened. “It’s not the same. If you had slept with another man, I could have never forgiven you. That would have been a breach of the most basic principle of marriage for me. What you did is still bad, still a form of betrayal, but I understand how it happened. You didn’t trust me, and my actions made it difficult for you to do so. You were desperate. I know it won’t happen again, because you’re now allowing yourself to trust me, not fully, but it’s a start. And I’ve started to forgive you for what you did. That doesn’t mean I’ll ever forget but it’ll eventually only be part of our story, of the hardships we had to overcome to build a strong foundation for our marriage.”
I swallowed hard. I wished Lorcan had talked to me like that a few months before. I wasn’t sure if I would have believed his words but maybe it had changed things. “I won’t betray you again. After the attack, I was approached by police in Dublin. They wanted to scare me, to win me over and promised me safety. I chased them away.”
Lorcan nodded. “I know. It was Balor’s way of testing you.”