Total pages in book: 60
Estimated words: 55860 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 279(@200wpm)___ 223(@250wpm)___ 186(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 55860 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 279(@200wpm)___ 223(@250wpm)___ 186(@300wpm)
“Not really,” I say. “I’m sorry you got kidnapped, but I didn’t cause that. I don’t have the energy to go over old wrongs with you—the times I’ve bailed you out, stitched you up, paid your debts and all I gave up to do that. Things have to change. I texted you info on gambling addiction groups locally. You pick one and go to every meeting and get clean. I’m working full time and going to school. I want my LPN done before the baby comes so I can support myself and my child. I’m going to save up a couple more months and then get a little place of my own so I can prepare for the baby. If you want me out sooner because you don’t like the terms, I’ll leave. Otherwise, that’s the plan.”
I get a glass of water and drink, waiting for his response. His shoulders sag and he looks older, smaller somehow. I feel the familiar tug of obligation, how I should smooth this over, tell him I’m sorry, just don’t get mad at me. But I hold myself still and wait, because I have a child to think of. Time to quit acting like a kid afraid of her dad’s rejection.
“You make all the rules now? After—” he begins. I shake my head.
“No thanks. I’ve heard this before, the guilt trip about you raising me. Yeah, you did. I appreciate the roof over my head, Dad, but I don’t owe you the rest of my life. I sacrificed college, my apartment, and my own life because I felt guilty. That’s over.”
“Why isn’t the father paying for your expenses and stuff for the kid?” he says.
“Don’t worry about it,” I say, and I feel so detached, so cold, but assured of what I’m doing. I walk away and keep moving forward.
26
JACK
It takes a couple of days, working eighteen-hour days, doing everything to keep the anger pushed down and the hurt buried seven hundred miles deep. If I stop for a minute, remorse throttles me. I let my pride—she didn’t trust me; she kept a secret—call the shots.
The woman I love is carrying our child, and I shouted at her and walked away from her, spent days hiding in my work to avoid the truth. If she didn’t know I could keep her safe, if she didn’t trust me with the biggest news, she must’ve been terrified. Which means I didn’t show her. She had to face this alone and then got kidnapped and terrorized. I made an ass of myself, and she deserves better.
Outside the convenience store where she works, I wait in the car. When she walks out at the end of her shift, I roll down the window.
“Serena,” I say, and she looks up, shock written on her face. “Will you get in, talk with me?”
As soon as she takes a step toward the car, I get out and hold the door for her. She looks up at me, uncertain, eyes wide and lips trembling. I take in the tired circles under her eyes, the messy ponytail and the sweet curve of her belly. I want to touch it, stroke it and kiss her lips, but I have truth to tell first.
While the driver pulls away from the curb, I turn to her and take her hand. She lets me, looks down at our hands and swallows hard.
“I owe you an apology,” I begin, and her eyes flick up to mine in disbelief. “I should’ve proved to you that you could trust me to keep you safe, that you can tell me anything. I’m sorry you had to face this alone. You had the weight of the world on you. You must’ve been terrified, even before you got kidnapped by that asshole. I should have kept a guard on you. I’ll show you that I can be part of our baby’s life, that I’ll do everything in my power to protect my family.”
Serena rolls her lips under, eyes bright with tears. “I’m sorry, Jack. I should’ve told you right away. I was scared. Hell, I’m scared now. But the second you came through that door, and I was soaking wet and scared out of my mind, I knew you’d always come for us and protect us. I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner.”
“I walked out on you, Serena. I never will again, so help me God. I will make sure you know how much I love you, how cherished and protected you are, every day for the rest of our lives if you’ll have me.”
She throws her arms around me and sobs into my shoulder. I hold her close, rub her back in slow circles and let her cry. She’s held all this inside, the fear and sadness. The pain of her tears scalds me, but I’m overjoyed to be the man who gets to comfort her and be her safe harbor.