Total pages in book: 35
Estimated words: 32946 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 165(@200wpm)___ 132(@250wpm)___ 110(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 32946 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 165(@200wpm)___ 132(@250wpm)___ 110(@300wpm)
Don’t speak.
Don’t speak.
She couldn’t help but remember what The Boss had said—to be honest with Draven. Looking toward him, she saw that he was staring right back at her. She averted her gaze and tried to pretend she hadn’t caught him.
Don’t be a coward.
Are you crazy?
This man is the Devil.
People are afraid of him.
“What did I do wrong?” That internal voice was tempted to slap her.
“You didn’t do anything wrong.”
This made her return her gaze to him. “What?”
“You heard me.”
And she imagined he didn’t make it a habit of repeating himself, but that made no sense.
“I don’t understand.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong, but I won’t be fucking you without a condom. We’re going to get you on the pill and soon,” Draven said.
“You don’t want to get me pregnant?”
“No, I don’t.”
She nibbled her lip. Running her fork through the pasta, she tried to understand what was going on. Men in their life always wanted to have children. It was a necessity. Children were important.
“Is it because of who I am?” she asked.
“No.”
How could it not be? He didn’t want to have kids, unless he already had children with someone else.
“Are you already a father?”
“No.”
This man was so infuriating.
“Why don’t you want kids?” she asked.
She forced herself to look into his eyes, and she was shocked to see he was still staring at her. Maria couldn’t look away, even if she wanted to. She felt compelled to stare back at him.
“Let’s just say I didn’t have the greatest start in life, and I don’t want to pass that experience on to another kid.”
“What happened?”
“That is something I will never talk about. We’re not having children and that is the end of it.”
Maria didn’t know if she should be pleased that this had nothing to do with her or her family line, or even more upset because he didn’t want to have any children with her. What if she wanted to have kids?
At the moment, she couldn’t stand the thought of having children, but in years to come, she might be ready. They also might be too late. What if she was already pregnant? What would he do?
“I could already be pregnant,” she said.
“We’ll deal with it.”
She had no idea what that meant. “You’d … want me to abort?”
Draven dropped his knife and fork and ran a hand down his face. “No, I wouldn’t get you to abort, but I would find a place that was safe for you, as far away from me as possible so the kid could be safe.”
“Do you think you’d hurt your own child?”
“I don’t know what I’d do, so let’s not find out.”
She nodded her head, but the truth was, she didn’t like any of this. She wanted to have children, maybe, someday. She had no idea who Draven was, what his past meant.
He clearly had it rough, and she wasn’t about to force him to talk to her. They could take this one day at a time. She could handle that. One day at a time.
“So, I didn’t do anything wrong?” Maria asked. “You’re not angry with me?”
“No, I’m not angry with you, and you didn’t do a single thing wrong. In fact, Maria, you did everything right.”
She wanted to smile and to fist pump the air, but she held herself back. This was not the time or place to feel victorious. She’d just been told she was never having kids, unless she was pregnant right now. But even if she was pregnant right now, that would also come at a cost. The cost of spending time with Draven. Did she want to spend time with him? Did she even want a future with him? Would it be easier to leave?
So many questions and she couldn’t answer any of them. They were not a love match. She knew that. He’d saved her by choosing her to be his wife.
Nibbling her lip, she ate some more food.
Draven had picked up his knife and fork and started to eat. She kept stealing glances his way, curious about the man. What was his history? What did he want out of life? Would he ever be willing to answer any of her questions, or would he always be silent, keeping her out?
She knew a lot of marriages within their world were awful. Men and women forced together through business arrangements, money, and power. Most of the time they hated each other and had children because that was expected of them. Maria didn’t know what was expected of her.
The Boss had told her clearly, if no one wanted her, she would die. What if Draven got tired of her? Would he divorce her and sign her death sentence?
Stop thinking so damn much.
Eat your food.
Deal with it another day.
That was all she could do. Take it one day at a time, hoping to survive another day. It was a strange way to live, but for her in this moment, it was the only way.