Total pages in book: 140
Estimated words: 137433 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 687(@200wpm)___ 550(@250wpm)___ 458(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 137433 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 687(@200wpm)___ 550(@250wpm)___ 458(@300wpm)
If Dad finds out about the Michigan offer, I’m toast.
And I still haven’t filled out the application to the Air Force Academy, even though the deadline is fast approaching. My oxygen levels seem to drop when I think about it.
“Whoa. What crawled up your ass?” Dad scowls.
“Language!” Mel tosses her hands in the air.
“My business is mine, and I don’t want it discussed at the breakfast table.” I drop my utensils.
“We’re talking about your college plans, not your anal hygiene,” Penn points out. “Chill, dude.”
Bailey bumps her thigh against mine, signaling that now is a good time to confess my plans to apply to the Air Force Academy.
And I should, I really should. But I can’t. Not with Knight’s eyes boring into mine from across the table.
I know this look. It’s a look that says, Dad has been through so much and barely made it. You can’t do this to him. I won’t let you.
Overall, Knight is happy with his life. But there’s one point of contention between us—he says I always look for creative ways to die, between the fast cars and pilot dreams, and I say it’s none of his business.
I hope my face can convey my answer to him, which is, Part of the reason why Dad is so fucked-up is because you were high on everything you could crush into powder while Mom was taking her last few breaths, so don’t make me atone for your sins, pal.
Did anyone say fun times? If this is my tribe, I want to be a lone wolf.
“No, that’s all right. Lev’s right. I’ll mind my own business.” Dixie smiles apologetically, putting a hand over Dad’s to calm him down. “I didn’t mean to overstep. I hope you know that, Levy.”
“No, fuck that.” Knight snorts out, standing up, his chair scraping the floor. “Don’t apologize to him. You were just trying to help.”
“Language,” Edie singsongs.
“I’m about to throw everyone but my wife out.” Vicious sounds as serious as a heart attack.
“The children you can put down carefully outside our door,” Emilia suggests. “They didn’t do anything.”
I shoot up to my feet. Bailey is upright in an instant, beside me.
I shift my weight onto my knuckles, which are flat against the table. “I suggest you shut your trap, Knight, since the entire reason why we’re all having this conversation is because you weren’t good enough for the NFL.”
“I opted out.” He yawns, feigning boredom.
“Yeah.” I snort. “But you won’t let me do the same, right? Someone has to appease Daddy dearest, and we both know it’s not gonna be you.”
That sets Knight off. “It’s not about football, dumbass. For all I care, you can go get a liberal arts degree in feminist knitting and never play ball again. It’s about the dangers.”
Dad frowns, looking between us. “What dangers?”
“Lev wants to become a fighter pilot,” Bailey supplies, and I shouldn’t feel embarrassed and self-conscious, but I am.
“Lev can’t be a fighter pilot,” Knight says decisively.
“Why not?” I snarl. “Because all you can do is coach a little league team and take pictures with man thongs?”
“First of all, they’re called thonginis.” Knight’s outrage at the mistake is written plainly on his face. “Second, as previously stated, I don’t give one crap about your footba—”
“I do,” Dad pipes in. “He’s got talent. Why not use it?”
“Because I don’t want to!” I toss my hands in the air.
Dad looks surprised. Offended. His laser eyes are aimed at me. “What are you talking about? I thought you loved football.”
“That’s because you’re so busy mourning your dead wife, you don’t look up and see what’s right in front of you!”
Uncle Trent sighs and takes a sip of his orange juice, slanting his gaze to his wife. “I told you we should’ve gone to the Canary Islands, just us and the kids.”
“Knight, you need to calm down.” Luna puts an arm on my brother, and he immediately sits down, the pussy-whipped asshat that he is. “This is not the time nor the place.”
“Sorry, Moonshine.”
Dad’s eyes are still on mine. “Got anything to say to me?”
Let me make my own decisions.
Stop hanging your hopes and dreams and happiness on me.
But the words don’t come out.
They’re stuck in the same black hole inside me where I keep all my secrets.
Instead of gently releasing them, I turn around and storm off like a little bitch.
CHAPTER 23
Bailey
Seeing Lev chastised and unhappy makes me want to blow up the entire world. To mix hydrogen azide and potassium chlorate and put my chemistry studies to terrible use.
But I’m Bailey.
Nice. Sweet. Nonconfrontational.
Only recently, this girl is a total stranger to me. Like I shed snakeskin and dumped it when I boarded the plane back from New York to San Diego.
Ever since I stopped with the Xanax and Vicodin, I started feeling. All the time. Sadness. Confusion. Anger. Jealousy. Love.