Total pages in book: 140
Estimated words: 137433 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 687(@200wpm)___ 550(@250wpm)___ 458(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 137433 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 687(@200wpm)___ 550(@250wpm)___ 458(@300wpm)
Dad, Knight, and I come here every Sunday to hang out with her and take turns cleaning her gravestone and decorating it with fresh flowers.
Then we all tell her about our week. It’s probably the only place Dad doesn’t bring Dixie.
Today is my turn to clean and put flowers.
Dad and Knight said they were running a little late.
After I’m done drying the gravestone with a microfiber towel, I slip flowers into the vase that’s on top of it. Roses for Rosie. Pink and white. Her favorite.
“There, Mom. Looking like a million bucks, as per usual.” I stand in front of the stone, winking at it.
“Stop hitting on Mom, Lev. She’s taken,” I hear Knight chiding playfully from behind me, gravel crunching beneath his boots.
I feel him clap my back, drawing me into a bro-hug, and I hear Dad’s car locking automatically as he joins us. Knight kisses my head to piss me off, because it makes me feel like a kid. “You look good, baby bro.”
“Yeah? Well, I feel like crap.”
“Smell like it too.” Knight’s nose twitches, but he’s just pulling my leg. “Bailey still giving you trouble?”
Before I can answer, Dad crouches down to the gravestone and rearranges the roses with a frown.
He is so meticulous and particular about everything Mom related.
Maybe it’s best if Bailey and I part ways. There’s nothing sadder than living your heartbreak every single day after you lose someone you love.
“Boys, can you take a little walk? I need to talk to your mom.”
“Uh-huh.” Knight presses two fingers to his lips. “Someone’s gonna get his ass handed to him. What’d you do? Mom, don’t go easy on him!”
Dad pins him with a really? glare. I shake my head and tug Knight down the green lawns toward a bunch of whitewashed granite benches.
Knight slings an arm over my shoulder and tilts his chin to Dad. “What do you think that’s about?”
“Dixie, probably.”
“Word. Did you ever find out if he’s giving her the ol’ selfie stick?”
“Jesus, Knight. What did the English language ever do to you that you abuse it so badly?” I shake off his touch. “Annoyingly, Dad claims they’re just friends.”
“Maybe he’s asking Mom for permission to move on?” Knight raises his eyebrows hopefully, peering over his shoulder at Dad earnestly conversing with the gravestone.
“Hope so because apparently Dad hasn’t porked anyone in four years.”
“Oof. Fun conversations happening in the Cole household these days.” Knight flicks his aviators down his nose. “Well, that’s sad.” He pauses. “Not as sad as you still being a virgin, but close.”
“I’m not a virgin.” I don’t know why I’m scowling. Maybe because even though Knight is chronologically my big brother, usually I’m the responsible, mature one.
“Right. Thalia.” He snaps his fingers. “The knockoff version of Bailey. Mailey.” He chuckles. “You broken up with her yet?”
“Kinda, yeah.” I suck my teeth, again wondering what the fuck I was thinking with this whole pretend act. Now Bailey thinks she got fingered by a dude who’s attached. I don’t want any version of her to think I’m a dick. “So let me ask you a question. As a former addict—” I start.
He cuts me off. “Addict, just addict. I’ll always be an addict. Keeping shit under control is a daily struggle. I still attend meetings weekly, you know.”
“As an addict, tell me how I can help her. Get through to her. She doesn’t want to admit she’s using painkillers. But she must be using a ton because she’s always high.”
“That’s not a thing.” He kneads my shoulder. “You can’t force someone to get better. They have to hit rock bottom first, then take a little nap on that bitch for a few weeks or months. It’s not like in the movies, where she has a light-bulb moment and boom, everything’s fine. She still has so much to lose, and my advice? Let her take those hits. Just don’t give up, okay? Be there for her as soon as she’s ready and not until then.”
He tilts his chin down, holding my gaze. “I’d have been so fucked if Luna had decided I was too much work and walked away.”
“I’m never gonna give up,” I say.
I still place an empty box by her bedroom door every day. Unfailingly.
Hopefully she gets the meaning of it. Otherwise, I just look like a weirdo with a boner for cardboard. “I can’t just let her lose everything.
She’s worked so hard for it. I’ll never just sit back and watch as her world burns.” And there was another thing—a selfish need to prove to myself that I could save her like she saved me.
“Good. Good. Hey.” Knight wrangles me into a brotherly headlock. “How’s football? Still kicking ass? I expect you to ask me to be your agent when you go pro, yeah?”
I am about to answer him that I won’t go pro but, thankfully, get distracted.