Total pages in book: 140
Estimated words: 137433 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 687(@200wpm)___ 550(@250wpm)___ 458(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 137433 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 687(@200wpm)___ 550(@250wpm)___ 458(@300wpm)
“Then what am I?” I ask, holding his gaze, hope almost resurrected at the thought of him calling me his current best friend. Or maybe he means I can be his future girlfr…
There’s a beat. I feel like he swallowed all the oxygen in the room. His nostrils flare.
“You’re just a stranger who, unfortunately, knows all my secrets.”
Just to spite him, I end up putting on pants so short, Lev could give me a vaginal exam without removing them.
Then I go back downstairs and we both eat our takeout silently. Well, he eats. I haven’t had an appetite in months. Lev puts a football recap program on TV, but I know he’s not really watching. I move my noodles around the broth with my chopsticks.
“So did you lose the game tonight?” I ask derisively.
He doesn’t rip his gaze from the TV. “Nope. Won.”
“Aww. Did Thalia wear your varsity jacket?”
“Nobody wears my varsity jacket.”
“Yikes. Ego trip much?” But of course, butterflies take flight inside my chest, telling me that there’s hope.
He looks up from his food. “Giving a girl my varsity jacket is a statement of ownership. I don’t own Thalia’s ass.”
The idea that Thalia tested me by giving me Sydney’s number goes through my head. But I decide that I’m being paranoid, even if Daria said she is manipulative.
“We don’t have to be enemies.” I clear my throat. “I might’ve been…a bit harsh with my treatment of you.”
He drops his spoon and chopsticks into his bowl noisily, aiming his stare at me like it’s the barrel of a gun. “Piss into a cup right fucking now to restore trust, Bailey. Put me out of my misery, and we’ll be best friends again.”
Somewhere deep in the back of my head, there’s a small voice that tells me Lev makes an excellent point and I’m just not ready to admit it yet.
“Know what? Forget it. I think our trust in each other has been irreparably broken.”
“Yeah?” Lev leans against the table. Marx, he is beautiful. The outline of his lips looks pencil-drawn, it’s so perfect. “And how exactly did I lose your trust? Don’t say Thalia.”
“You didn’t tell me you have a girlfriend.”
“I don’t have a fucking girlfriend!” He pounds the table, making everything fly an inch above the surface.
“I have a girl I have sex and hang out with. Occasionally. She knows the score. We’re not serious. And really, what were my options here?” he asks calmly. “Sit around and pine for the girl I love who told me not to wait for her because it’s never gonna happen between us? You said you didn’t want me, then punish me for being with someone else. You said you’d never forget me, then move away and cut all ties. You called me in the middle of the night, dying, but now won’t take a drug test. And you expect me to believe you’re even related to the Old Bailey? You don’t hold a candle to her. Not even a fucking damp match.”
I bang my palms on the table, standing up. “She looks exactly like me!”
He stands up too. His high cheekbones flushed pink. “Bullshit and a half.”
“Yes, she does! I—”
“She.” He bangs his fist on the table.
“Does.” Bang.
“Not.” Bang.
“Look anything like you.” Bang, bang, bang.
“Your beauty is unparalleled. You will always be the most beautiful girl in every room, in every country, in every goddamn continent, on every planet. You’re endgame, Bailey, so it kills me that you don’t want to play. Oh, and I cannot stop thinking about you, even when I know I’m better off forgetting you’ve ever existed.”
This sounds like a love declaration, and the high I get from his words is unmistakable.
“Maybe I do want to play,” I blurt out breathlessly from across the table. “Kiss me and find out.”
He shakes his head, looking sad and a little disappointed. “Nah. It’s not my best friend I’d be kissing. The person you are right now? Hot as shit but not my style.”
Maybe because I know he’s right, this pierces a hole straight through my soul.
“You were never in love with me, Lev,” I choke out. “You were just confused because we were always together.”
He holds my gaze steadily. “I am with every cell in your body. Admit it, Bailey. You fucking blew it. You ruined us because of your stupid insecurities. We could’ve been happy. Now look at us.”
“You seem happy,” I bite out.
He shakes his head, sighing.
Anger seizes my body. I toss the back of my palm against my bowl of soup and watch as it splatters against the credenza. Thick noodles crawl down the expensive wood. The fine china breaks. I storm upstairs like a toddler in a tantrum. I hear Lev quietly finishing his meal at the table, not bothering to run after me, to bargain, to apologize.