Total pages in book: 140
Estimated words: 137433 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 687(@200wpm)___ 550(@250wpm)___ 458(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 137433 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 687(@200wpm)___ 550(@250wpm)___ 458(@300wpm)
“Because she isn’t you.”
She shakes her head, looking tired all of a sudden. “I was never really good enough. Which is why now, when I’m being less than perfect, everyone is so upset. You included. Seriously. Just…leave.”
I hate that she sounds sad. I hate that she is still topless and doesn’t even realize it. She lost her pride. Or maybe it’s something else she doesn’t have anymore. Either way, it made her her.
Sighing, I say, “Look, I don’t know what crawled up your ass, but if it’s that big of a deal, I’ll break up with her. Problem solved.”
She tips her head back and laughs coldly. My intestines twist together into tight knots.
When her fake giggle subsides, she shrugs. “I don’t want you to break up with Thalia. At this point, she is your only redeeming quality.”
“What the fuck does that mean?” I scowl.
“I like her.” She pouts, studying her fingernails with her arms folded over her chest. “She’s a hustler.”
“Are you guys BFFs now or something?”
“Why? Are you micromanaging her life and friendships too?” Bailey ducks under my arm quickly, snatching her cropped MTV top from the floor and slipping it on.
“Nah, Thalia’s none of my business. But you are.” And honestly, this sounds crappy, but I’m not sure I want them hanging out. Thalia knows some shady-ass people.
“Are you done spreading your toxic masculinity like a dog pissing on furniture?” She marches into the house.
“Still got the couch and kitchen table left,” I growl, following her. Truth is, I am treading bully territory and don’t want to overstep that line.
I need to figure out a way to take care of her and still give her space. But first, I need to know if she is sober and can’t relax unless… “I want you to piss into a cup, Dove.”
She sighs. “Go home, Lev.”
I snatch her hand a second before she goes upstairs, pushing our dove pendants together. They clack, and a shot of electricity runs through me.
My fingers shake as I lace them through hers. We’re doing this finger-play thing that used to soothe me when we were young. She gasps a little. Our eyes meet. The world falls back around us like walls collapsing. For one small moment, we’re Bailev again.
“You said you would never turn me down. That you’d always be there for me.” I feel stupid reminding her of that. “In the forest, remember?”
Her bottom lip shakes. She’s about to cry. “And I will be there for you. But I never said anything about wanting you to be there for me.
I don’t want you to see me like this. Broken. Lost. Hopeless. I love you, Lev Cole. But I wish I could unlove you. Your mere existence is too much for my soul.”
Her words cut through skin and muscle, cells and bones. Bailey stops midway up the stairs, holding the balustrade railings. She looks like a queen addressing her lowly citizen. “If I really am your dove, you’d let me fly away. Set me free, Lev. You have a girl who looks like me who adores you, and I can’t afford this drama in my life. You’re my sun. Lovely as you are, I can only admire you from afar.”
CHAPTER 8
Bailey
Altruistic intentions aside, I’m not handling this whole Lev-Thalia thing very well.
Actually, I think it’d be fair to say I’m not handling it at all. I point-blank ignore Lev, even though I miss him like a limb.
He’s changed, and I’m only now seeing how far he’s come from the kid I’ve coddled all my life. Lev is no longer the boy next door. Now he’s the man in the mansion across the street.
A man who is working on his vintage cars outside in the sun, shirtless, grease marring his sweaty, tan six-pack, which is flexing deliciously each time he takes a breath.
For the first time in my life, my emotions override my logic. That scene two days ago in my backyard keeps playing in my head.
Why did I say those hurtful things to him? Well, he did goad me. Said I was jealous of his girlfriend. Dared me to have sex with him. And I may or may not have found some leftover painkillers that same morning, so perhaps I was a teeny-tiny bit high.
Thing is, I have an INFP personality. I’m the mediator. The caregiver. I avoid conflicts at all costs and normally find it easy to forgive people, not that Lev owes me an apology for dating someone. It’s just that the news hit me surprisingly hard.
The idea of Levy holding someone else, kissing someone else, loving someone else…
The worst part is, I get off on the attention he gives me, even when it’s negative. That’s why I’m being so horrible to him. The way he seeks me out as I ignore, push, and punish him…it’s a sick thrill and not one I’m proud of. But I can’t stop.