Total pages in book: 31
Estimated words: 28144 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 141(@200wpm)___ 113(@250wpm)___ 94(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 28144 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 141(@200wpm)___ 113(@250wpm)___ 94(@300wpm)
I kissed the top of Tatum’s head and he continued, “The manager found me and accused me of slacking off. He said I was only there as a favor to my dad, but he didn’t have time for a charity case. He told me to get my shit together and get back to work before storming out of the room. I got scared and even more upset, and…I ran out the back door and drove home.” My chest ached at the guilt and shame in his voice.
“The manager should have given you the right training and guidance to do your job,” I insisted. “You’d never been in an environment like that, and shouldn’t have been expected to just be able to jump in and know what to do. It’s understandable why you needed a break, and why you left. You should never stay somewhere you feel unsafe or uncomfortable.”
Tatum burrowed deeper into my hold, as if trying to envelop himself in my care and compassion. “That wasn’t how my father felt. When he got home from work, he was furious. He said his friend called and told him what happened, and that I had embarrassed and disappointed him.”
“And that’s when he kicked you out?” I assumed. Tatum’s blush darkened, and he was quiet for several moments before answering.
“He was so mad, but I don’t think he was going to tell me to leave…until he saw what was in my hands.” He went quiet again, but I didn’t push, allowing him to tell me on his own time. “There’s…there’s something you don’t know about me.”
We’d arrived at whatever Tatum was scared to tell me. It didn’t matter what he’d been holding. It didn’t matter what he’d done. I kissed the side of his head, reminding him that I wasn’t going anywhere, and I’d never ask him to leave.
“I like things that I shouldn’t,” he began, not looking me in the eyes. “Things I should have stopped liking a long time ago. But I can’t stop liking them - especially when I’m scared or sad. I was holding…” He took a deep breath before finishing, “Play-Doh.” I blinked again. Of all the things he could have said, I wasn’t expecting that one.
“I know it’s weird,” Tatum continued quickly. “I know I’m too old, but it makes me happy. I love the smell of it, and squishing it in my hands helps calm me down. That’s what I was trying to do when my dad found me. But seeing me with the toy enraged him.
“He said it was the last straw; that he'd put up with the fact that I was gay - which I didn't even know was a problem. Apparently, he'd held his tongue out of respect for my mom, but he ‘didn't agree with my disgusting lifestyle’. I guess that's why he was distant with me. He said he also had to deal with me being lazy and pathetic, but he'd be damned if he was going to allow me to act like a child under his roof. He told me to get out; that it would force me to grow up, and the world would make a man out of me.”
I couldn't hold my anger back any longer. My voice was a husky growl when I spat, “That's disgusting.” Tatum's eyes immediately welled up as he pulled away, and I realized he misunderstood me. I wrapped him tightly in my arms and clarified, “Not you, baby bear; never you. It's disgusting the way your father treated you. No matter his opinion, he's still your family. He could disagree and still be kind. You deserved so much better than that.”
He gave me a shaky smile, which faded as he tucked his lip between his teeth in worry. “He didn't even know about everything,” Tatum confessed quietly. “I didn't just have Play-Doh; I had several toys hidden away. I'd play with them late at night, or when he wasn't around. They eased my mind, and surrounded me with a safe space. When I played, my sadness lifted, and I felt at peace.”
“That's beautiful.” I was happy he’d found solace in simplicity, and I couldn't wait to watch him play.
Tatum lifted his wide eyes. “Really?”
I nodded and replied, “There are countless ways to relax and unwind. Some people exercise, some people read, and others play. It doesn't matter how old you are. It matters how you feel.”
He looked at me as if I hung the moon. “What if it isn't just toys that I like? What if it's…other stuff too?”
“What kind of other stuff?” I had a good idea, but I wanted to hear it from his pretty lips.
Tatum swallowed hard as his gaze skittered away again. “Well, I'd never tried them before, but for a long time, I've dreamed of things like diapers and sippy cups. I know you were just being kind and helpful, and I should've told you sooner. I'm sorry I didn't, and I hope I haven't made you mad or upset. I will leave if you want me to.”