Total pages in book: 69
Estimated words: 65031 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 325(@200wpm)___ 260(@250wpm)___ 217(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 65031 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 325(@200wpm)___ 260(@250wpm)___ 217(@300wpm)
I snorted. “Sounds like a pain in the ass.”
“At times,” he agreed, smile growing wider. “But you turned my world upside down in the best possible way. I never loved anyone like that, before or since, and losing you, changed me profoundly, Mara.”
“Me too,” I whispered because what else could I say in the face of such heartfelt honesty? Those words were so perfect, I couldn’t have even dreamed them up. “I want this Xander. I want you and I want us, but I wasn’t kidding when I said I wasn’t the same girl I used to be. She was strong and brave, and I’m scared as hell.”
The timer on his fancy smoker sounded and Xander groaned, pressed a few more buttons and then gave me his full attention. “I’m scared too, Mara.” He took my free hand and placed it over his racing heartbeat. “But I’m more scared of never recapturing the way I feel when I’m with you. Even when we’re fighting, I like being around you more than anyone else. When we’re together, it feels like everything is possible because, if this love between us, so improbable but so true, can happen, then literally anything is possible.”
I nodded at his words and let out a shuddery breath as I fought back tears. Those words touched me in the deepest part of my heart, the part that I’d hidden away from the whole damn world. The part that only he could reach. “I’m not all that special, Xan.”
“Bullshit, babe. You’re the most special thing I’ve ever come across in this whole damn world.” His big hands cupped my face and tilted it up so all I could see were big, sapphire orbs looking back at me. “To me, there is nothing more special.” Then his mouth crashed down on mine, stealing my breath while his tongue drove me out of my mind. It was a kiss that held a promise of more kisses to come, but not just the erotic ones promised by the way his tongue swirled with mine, the intimate ones that came to mind as his fingertips brushed the bare flesh of my back.
My heart raced against his as Xander devoured my mouth, showing me what I already knew, even if my mind didn’t quite believe it yet. My arms went around his neck and slid across the wide expanse of his back before my palms rested on his broad shoulders. He was big and hard and wide, not hardly the body I dreamed about during those long nights in juvie. “Xander,” I breathed against his mouth.
“Come here.” He took the small steps down the wooden deck and motioned for me to follow him with a smile that promised a good time, not that it mattered, that was a smile I’d follow anywhere.
“Where?”
“Here. With me.” He crooked his finger and beckoned me over, his smile confident and full of affection. Music started on the deck behind me and when I was right in front of Xander, he pulled me into his arms. “Yeah, that’s better.”
He wrapped me tight around the waist and started to sway, our preferred style of dancing as teenagers. “This is familiar. Very familiar,” I laughed as evidence of his arousal pressed against my belly.
“What can I say, Mara? You’ve always done it for me, babe.” Then, he buried his face in my hair as we danced to ten-year old music, as if we could recapture that summer.
We can. We have.
It was true, I realized. This moment right here, it was the same only it was completely different. I took a step back and kicked off my shoes with a wide smile before stepping back in his arms. Xander and I were different, we were both battle-scarred, experienced in the hurts the world had to offer, and protective of our hearts. But he was still a goofball and I was still a smartass.
We still loved each other.
I sucked in a breath as that thought settled into my brain, and looked up at the starry night. This is it. This man is my destiny. It wasn’t a thought I’d ever had before, not even back when I thought he hung the moon just for me, but it was true all the same.
It was Xander.
It had always been Xander.
He was mine and I was his.
If I’m brave enough to reach for it.
“We’re not the same people, Xander, and we can’t ever get back that thing that was lost all those years ago, and I don’t want to get it back. I like who I am now and I like who you are too.”
“Yeah?” A boyish smile lit his face and it was contagious.
“Yeah. I’m so proud of the man you’ve become, the man I always knew the boy I loved would be.”
“Mara,” he groaned and dropped his forehead to mine.