Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 71044 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 355(@200wpm)___ 284(@250wpm)___ 237(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71044 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 355(@200wpm)___ 284(@250wpm)___ 237(@300wpm)
“Kent didn’t see it that way. He stopped talking to me. Everyone seemed mad at me. Even Skipper. My actions only helped to reinforce this reputation I have for being a player on the island. Kent didn’t see it as me protecting him. He thought I was trying to steal the love of his life.”
Quin’s eyes detach from me. “I see.”
“So … that’s it.” I spread my hands and lean back against the banister. “That’s the whole story. No secrets and nothing left out. You know everything.”
He leans back against the banister, too, blinking as his brain slowly digests all of that. “Okay.”
I swallow, staring at him, waiting for more.
He doesn’t even look like he’s breathing now.
Did I break him?
“Sorry,” I blurt. “Was that too much? Too much all at once? You just said you’ve got so much on your mind, and here I go, overloading it with even more stuff, and—”
He takes hold of my hand suddenly.
I lift my eyebrows, startled.
“I just want to hold your hand,” he says after a while.
“Okay.”
“You didn’t owe me an explanation about your dad and whatever he was about to say, but … thank you.”
I stare at the side of his face uncertainly. “I felt like it’s important you know everything. How else can we build a relationship if we aren’t honest with …?”
I stop myself. Am I being presumptuous here? To think everything is still okay between us? To think he still wants to be in a relationship with me?
He already knew about my string of exes. I told him about it that night at the Hopewell Fair. But was this piece of information about what I did to my brother one story too much? Is he rethinking everything now?
Why does it all feel like it’s falling apart?
“I didn’t mean to presume,” I tell him.
“Presume …?”
“That we’re in a relationship. I just …” What do I say? “I just meant that—no matter what we are—I owe it to you to be open. To tell you everything. To hold nothing back.”
“My professor thought I was painting heartache.”
I look at him. “What do you mean?”
“The man in my paintings. You. My professor … saw heartache in him. Whether he was the cause or the victim of the heartache … I can’t say exactly. I guess it’s up for interpretation.” He seems to wrestle with something on his face, then half turns to me. “He wants me to call my series ‘Heart Crusher’.”
I flinch. “He wants you to call it what …?”
“I told him too much,” he explains to me with a wince. “Professor Lawrence has a way of digging things out of people. To be honest, I … I thought I was coming here to Dreamwood Isle to find myself, but …” He shakes his head. “I feel more lost now than I did before I got here.”
“Is it me? Is it—Did I fuck you up, Quin?”
“No, no. I don’t know if it’s anyone’s fault. Or if it’s just …” He lets go of my hand and crosses his arms. “Just everything. My dad. My professor. Myself.”
“And me,” I conclude for him. “I’m the problem. You can be honest. If I’m not good for you—”
“Stop blaming yourself.”
“I’m serious.”
“So am I,” he says, facing me. “Don’t push yourself away, Adrian. I’m still figuring all of this out. I feel like my life is trying to change in this big and terrifying way, whether I’m ready for it or not. Maybe it has nothing to do with you. Maybe it has nothing to do with us. But whatever it is … I need to figure it out soon. Everything’s moving so fast. The showcase is almost here. Then the summer will be ending, and … I’m not sure what happens after that. For some reason, I feel like my dad is going to get his way.”
“He won’t. You don’t have to let him.”
“I may have no choice, Adrian.”
“Fuck our dads. Your life is yours to lead. Do what you want to do.”
“And what if I don’t know what I want to do?”
“I’m here. I’ll be by your side, every step of the way.”
“And what if that’s part of the problem?”
I stop. My breath, my words, my everything stops. He said those words to the wooden planks at our feet, unable to look me in the eye.
I feel it happening all over again. That familiar, ugly feeling in my chest.
“I have feelings for you, Adrian,” he says. “Deep ones. Powerful ones. But this is my life that’s falling apart right now. Everything I know. It’s bigger than you and me.”
I want to touch him, but it feels so wrong now. “Quin.”
“I should spend some time at Vann’s. Figure out my showcase. Get my head on straight. I’m sorry about all of this. I … I just need time.”