Total pages in book: 61
Estimated words: 56576 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 283(@200wpm)___ 226(@250wpm)___ 189(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 56576 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 283(@200wpm)___ 226(@250wpm)___ 189(@300wpm)
This, however, is one-hundred percent my choice. I’m initiating this. Diving head-first into dark waters. It’s sink or swim time.
Trying to calm my erratic heartbeat and breathing, so Zane doesn’t catch on to me, I focus on the movie and ignore the wall of muscle beside me. The tension slowly eases out of me, and I lean further into Zane until my head is resting against his arm.
I wait to see if he pulls away or even objects, but his body stays glued to mine. He’s probably enjoying the nearness of my body, that I’m making an effort to be close to him all on my own. As the movie plays, I find my eyes gravitating toward the apex of his thighs.
Should I do it now? Would grabbing his penis be too on point? I don’t want to come across as desperate, but honestly, I am, so does it really matter? Patience isn’t really my strong point, and being here has made me even antsier.
“Are you even watching the movie?” Zane asks, catching me off guard.
“Uhh…”
“You didn’t have to watch it with me just so I would hold you. Movie or not, I have no problem being close to you.” I hate the way his words make me feel. Like I’m precious, a gift.
Instantly, I feel bad about deceiving him like this. He might be sick and fucked up in his head, but he really has been trying to make me feel safe and comfortable, and in a lot of ways, he has. I’ve never felt safer, not since Will. Zane gives me comfort, he protects me, and I know even without asking, he’s done things for me. Things I could never picture.
“Oh, okay,” I murmur. “I still want to watch the movie,” I say, even though I haven’t actually paid any attention to it.
Zane lifts his arm and motions for me to come closer. I take the invitation and cuddle into his side. He lowers his arm and drapes it over my shoulders, engulfing me in his warmth. It feels nice. Right. Like I was meant to be here.
The movie plays until the end, but I couldn’t really concentrate on it. I’m in too much of an argument with myself in my head, giving myself a headache.
“Ready to go to bed?” Zane asks, turning off the TV with the remote.
“Yeah, sure…” We untangle ourselves from each other and the couch. Walking together into the bedroom, my heart is going a million miles per hour. I can do this.
“Are you sure you’re okay? You seem tense.”
“I’m fine,” I say. It probably sounds as unconvincing as I feel.
Once in the bedroom, I grab my pajamas and get changed in the bathroom. I purposely leave the top buttons undone, showing off a bit more skin than I usually would.
When I get back, Zane is already sprawled out on the bed. The blanket is covering his lower half, his upper body bare. His muscular chest is on full display. My mouth starts watering, and my core tightens.
Zane raises an eyebrow when he sees me trying to walk sexy as I make my way to the bed, but he doesn’t say anything. I crawl under the blanket next to him, and instead of taking our normal spooning position, I turn to face him. Draping my arm over his middle, I use his chest as a pillow.
Like this, I can hear the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, and I wonder how much faster mine is beating right now. Zane reaches over to his nightstand and switches off the light, blanketing the room in darkness.
“Goodnight, Dove.”
It’s now or never…
“Actually,” I whisper, and let my hand trail down his stomach. Swallowing down the fear, I make it to his thigh, where I graze the rod between his legs. It’s thick and hard, and suddenly I don’t know if I can do this. I think I’m in over my head.
“What are you doing?” Zane’s voice is like a bucket of cold water. I pull my hand away like touching him is fire.
“I-I…” Is all I can manage to get out before Zane has flipped me onto my back and has climbed on top of me.
“Don’t play games with me, Dove,” he says, his face so close to mine that his minty breath fans over my face. His large body looms over me, caging me in, pressing me into the mattress.
It’s hard to make out his features in the dark, but I don’t need to see his face to know he’s angry. I can feel it like a branding iron on my skin.
“I’m not.” I lie… kind of.
“You want me to fuck you? I can make that happen right now. Just say the word, and I’ll rip off our clothes and slide inside of you so deeply you will never forget who you belong to. Is that what you want, Dove?”