Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 79991 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 400(@200wpm)___ 320(@250wpm)___ 267(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79991 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 400(@200wpm)___ 320(@250wpm)___ 267(@300wpm)
“Dearly beloved,” the minister begins, an older man who smiles at both of us in a gentle, understanding sort of way. “We are gathered together to celebrate the union of these two souls. If there is anyone in attendance who believes they should not be united in marriage, let them speak now.”
When Grandfather chuckles at my right hand, I turn to him in surprise. “We’re past that point.”
Elena’s sharp intake of breath tells me she doesn’t appreciate the joke.
“Very well.” Still, the minister looks back and forth between her and me, almost as if he’s expecting one of us to protest. When neither of us does, he nods.
It’s the strangest feeling, this sense of both being in a dream and in reality. I understand now when she described an out-of-control train she knows is going to derail. I can relate, too. Even if I refused right now, the outcome would be violent. Even tragic. It would mean a declaration of war between the families, and how many lives would be lost as a result of that? How many of our people and theirs would be sacrificed? It brings to mind Grandfather’s description of gritting his teeth and shaking his fist at God.
I want to do that right now, but it wouldn’t make a difference. None of it would. I would still end up destroying my family. When I think about it that way, it seems only natural and wise to go along with this. It’s the responsible thing to do, no matter how much I hate knowing what this is doing to her.
I find her hand close to mine and catch her fingers, giving them the briefest, slightest bit of pressure. I’m here. I’m here with you. We’re in this together. I’m sorry for all of this. Sorry I ever took you. Sorry I hurt you, and sorry I’m hurting you now. I’ll find some way to make this up to you. I will take away the pain and rage and helplessness you feel right now and replace it with something better. Even if I was allowed to speak to her freely, I know the words would stick in my throat. I’ve never felt this useless.
“Will the two of you please turn to face each other?” We do as the minister instructs, then join our hands. Hers tremble, and I hold them tight, hoping against hope that some of my strength can go to her. She’s staring at my chin, refusing to meet my gaze. There’s no light in her eyes, either. The man needs to get through this ceremony fast because I’m not sure how much more I can take of watching her die a little bit with every passing moment.
“Enzo De Luca, do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?” Everything else he says fades into the background of my consciousness, the blood rushing in my ears drowning out the sound of his voice. My lawfully wedded wife. My wife. The mother of my children, eventually. What kind of mother will she be to them? I imagine she’ll love them because they come from her, but will her feelings toward me hurt them in some way? I have to protect her. Above all else, I have to keep her safe. I can’t let her end up the way my mother did—though the fact that she died at my father’s hand means we are already ahead of the game since I have no intention of ever doing to Elena what he did to my mother. His own wife, the mother of his children. I doubt I’d understand any better than I do now if he explained his intentions and reasoning to me.
But that won’t be her. This might have started off in the worst possible way, but it doesn’t have to end that way.
The minister falls silent, and I realize it’s my turn to speak. What did he say? I’m supposed to say I do, aren’t I? Grandfather even nudges me, and I have to grit back the impulse to tell him to back the hell off. “I do,” I murmur instead, hoping against hope she’ll look me in the eye. She doesn’t, doesn’t even give any indication she heard me. She’s that checked out.
“And you, Elena—”
“I do,” she whispers.
Grandfather chuckles while Josef lets out a booming laugh. “Eager,” he points out, laughing again.
No, she just wants to get it over with.
The minister clears his throat, his cheeks going red. “You have to at least let me earn my fee and finish what I had to say,” he explains, much to Josef’s amusement. “As I was saying, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?”
I squeeze her hands as he continues, willing her to look at me. This time she does, her eyes meeting mine for the first time since this started, and I offer her the warmest smile I can muster. I’m sure it’s a little sad, as well, because this is a rather sad situation. If she could only understand I’m right here with her, she might be able to get through this in less pain than she’s in now.