Total pages in book: 194
Estimated words: 187754 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 939(@200wpm)___ 751(@250wpm)___ 626(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 187754 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 939(@200wpm)___ 751(@250wpm)___ 626(@300wpm)
Well, not so much my heart these days and only the untampered part of my brain that remembers I’m not here by choice.
Luckily, Khalil provides the perfect distraction.
“You don’t understand what he was like before you, Goldilocks. Seth didn’t only try to murder Thorin and me when he had a nightmare. He would do it just because he didn’t like the shape of the clouds in the sky that day. He’d say they were suspicious.”
“You’re exaggerating.”
“Actually, I’m sugarcoating it.” Khalil turns his head and pushes aside the ends of his braids peeking from the bottom of the durag. I can see a long scar on his throat, starting from under his ear that I’d never noticed before.
“Seth did that?”
“He tried to cut my throat once because I said I missed boxing.”
“Well, that makes sense,” I mumble without thinking. I don’t realize how odd it sounds until Khalil looks at me funny. “Seth told me he blamed you and Thorin for not being there for Zeke when Isaac tricked him. Saying you missed boxing must have triggered those impulses. He might have even thought you were planning to leave Zeke again.”
“Yeah.” Khalil stares off, and I can tell he’s blaming himself too. “I figured that might be the reason he hates us.”
“Khalil…” I grab his chin between my fingers and force his gaze to return to mine. “You do know it’s not your fault, right?”
He hums noncommittally and then glances at Seth before shrugging. “It doesn’t matter what I know or what’s true. What matters is that Seth blame us, and there’s nothing I can do to change what happened to Zeke—to both of them.”
“You’re right. There’s nothing you can do about that, but there’s plenty you can do to reassure him that you won’t leave again.”
Khalil smiles a little sarcastically, flashing straight, white teeth. “You mean like moving to the middle of nowhere and staying put for almost a decade?”
“Close. You’re here because you think you have to be, not because you want to be. Don’t you think Zeth knows that?”
“Who?”
“Zeth. Zeke and Seth,” I explain when he continues to stare at me cluelessly.
Khalil’s expression turns wary. “They’re not the same person, Aurelia. You know that, right?”
“Of course. I’m shipping them.”
He pauses. “You’re what?”
“Damn, I forgot you’ve been up here forever. And let me tell you, you’ve missed a lot. But also…not a damn thing,” I ramble nervously when Khalil just continues to stare up at me like I’ve grown two heads. This might not be the right household to joke about that. “Shipping is when you pair two people—usually romantically, but not always—together.”
“And people do this because?”
“It’s fun and cute, and we’re lazy.”
“All right.” Khalil stares at me for a moment longer, and then he turns his head to stare at Seth like he’s seeing his frenemy through new eyes. Khalil’s eyes are calculating when his attention eventually returns to me. “So, you’re saying Thorin and I should stop acting like a captive, and Seth will stop treating us like one?”
I’m already nodding, and it’s not until Khalil grins that I realize I was setup. He looks triumphant and adorable as he playfully slaps my ass hard enough to make it wobble.
And now I want to murder him.
“Good night,” I say tightly.
Sliding off Khalil’s body, I return to my spot between them while Khalil turns on his side, giving me his back. After a few minutes, I’m still staring at the canopy, admiring the woven lights that make Zeth feel safe. The fact that Khalil cared enough to do this for his friend and brother has me regarding him differently, and I don’t want to do that, so I finally give voice to the reason sleep evades me.
“What happened last night?” I ask, knowing Khalil is still awake. Even though he’s clearly a light sleeper, he won’t let himself fall back asleep until he’s sure I am. “I don’t remember anything after Seth…finished. Did I pass out? Did you…?” Fuck me.
I can’t bring myself to ask and give voice to this new violation that makes me feel all kinds of screwed up when I feel that familiar heat blooming in my belly.
Khalil lifts his head to peer over his shoulder at me. “Do you really want to know?”
My gaze drops. I stare at the blanket covering me, and I nod. “Yes.”
“I fucked you.”
“Oh.”
“Do you have a problem with that?” he asks curiously.
A dry laugh punches out of me. “Would it make a difference if I did?”
“No.”
“Then I’m not upset.”
At some point, I realized the only choice my mountain men had left me was anger. I could choose to hate them for the forbidden things they forced on me, or accept that I didn’t hate it as much as I’d like to.
Currently, I’m teetering somewhere in the middle.
“Did you like it?” I don’t know why I ask. I shouldn’t care. He’s a monster, and I’m one for liking that he is.