Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 89083 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 445(@200wpm)___ 356(@250wpm)___ 297(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 89083 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 445(@200wpm)___ 356(@250wpm)___ 297(@300wpm)
I rest my elbows on my knees. That’s why Max was so insistent about there being kids inside. He thought his son was there.
“I was there when the fire started,” Isaiah says, his voice low and distant. “We couldn’t get downstairs. By the time we realized the building was on fire, it was too bad. We crawled out through a second-story window and jumped down onto one of the rusted-out old cars in the back. The fire trucks were already there, but we hid. We didn’t want anyone to know where we’d been because we’d get in trouble, so we ran into the forest. Everyone else scattered—headed home or wherever—but I couldn’t make myself leave. I saw Dad go in. I was so scared, but I told myself this was his job. He wouldn’t do anything stupid. I stood watching through the trees and waited for him to come back out.” He pushes himself up and grimaces as he scoots back to lean against his headboard. When he turns to me, tears stream down his cheeks. “Only he never did.”
I reach for his hand and squeeze. He doesn’t pull away. “Your dad made his own decisions that night. He was trained. He knew the dangers, and it wasn’t the first time he took risks when he was told to pull out.”
“I wanted to blame you, but I couldn’t, and the guilt ate at me. It’s my fault.”
“No more than it’s mine.” I draw in a long, deep breath. “Every day since it happened, I’ve blamed myself.”
He shakes his head. “What were you supposed to do? Drag him out? If you’d gone back in and tried, you’d be dead too.”
“I know. And for more days than I want to admit, I wished for that. Thought it would be easier to live with than this failure. But I’m glad I didn’t, because I couldn’t have saved him from the fire, but I can be here for you.” I squeeze Isaiah’s hand hard, and he surprises me when he squeezes mine in return, and I feel the shift in both of us—from guilt to true grief—like a presence in the room.
Maybe we both blamed ourselves because that was easier than accepting that Max is gone. He’s never coming back, no matter how unfair that feels. And maybe now, together, we can finally let him go.
Teagan
He came. Carter came to the wedding. I almost cried with relief when I saw him seated in the pew behind my mother, but I kept it together. Of course he came. He’s Carter Jackson, and I can count on him.
I’m so lost in my thoughts that the hour-long ceremony passes in a blur, and before I know it, Saanvi and Liam are kissing and everyone’s cheering as they head back down the aisle. The bridal party follows, and we take our places for the receiving line.
Sabrina nudges me when I stand too close to her. “Back off, would you?” She’s been shitty with me all morning, and I’ve ignored her. I do the same now. I wish we could both let go of the past, but she’ll probably always hate me for what happened with Heath.
The next fifteen minutes are a blur of greetings and handshakes as everyone makes their way through the receiving line. I wait and wait for Carter to come through, but he doesn’t. I spot him across the church vestibule, talking to Liam’s dad. He looks somber, and when I catch his eye, he nods solemnly and gives me a subdued smile before following the rest of the guests out of the church.
I try not to read too much into that, but I can’t help it, and all through the pictures, I analyze that half-smile from a hundred different angles. Is he still mad at me? Does he want to talk? Or is he just biding his time until the weekend is over and he can get away from this mess?
Valarie claps her hands. “Okay, everyone! I need the bridal party to go out front. The limo will take you to the reception while the bride and groom finish pictures.”
I go to my sister and pull her into a tight hug. “I’m so happy for you.”
Saanvi squeezes me tightly. “Not as happy as I am for you. Good things are happening between you and Carter. He’s the one for you. I know it.”
My eyes burn with the tears that have been threatening all day. I hurt Carter, and if I’d been honest with myself, I would’ve realized I was pushing him away because I was scared. Because I knew he’d be able to hurt me more than anyone else. In my desperate attempt to save my heart, I broke his.
And he showed up anyway.
He’s playing the good boyfriend, even though I’ve proven to be a shitty friend.