Total pages in book: 99
Estimated words: 96612 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 483(@200wpm)___ 386(@250wpm)___ 322(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96612 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 483(@200wpm)___ 386(@250wpm)___ 322(@300wpm)
“I was messed up, Cam.” I continued, knowing I had to get the words out. He might not have needed to hear them, but I needed to say them, anyway. “When I found out I was pregnant, it was like it knocked something loose. Well, maybe it was before then. Remember when you slapped my ass during—”
“I remember.”
“I started having these memories. Flashes at first, and then after we found out I was pregnant, they got worse.”
“Why didn’t you say somethin’?” he asked softly, rubbing his hand up and down my belly.
“I don’t know. I guess I was just trying to figure it out on my own, and I was so fucking terrified of having a baby that I completely lost my shit.”
“Next time, you come to me.”
“I did—”
“You tellin’ me you wanted an abortion wasn’t comin’ to me with the shit that was draggin’ you down. That was you pickin’ a fight,” he argued.
I took a deep breath, then confessed, “I didn’t really want one.”
“Figured that out a long time ago, Bea.”
I sighed, relaxing my body farther into his chest.
“The shooting just made it worse,” I said finally, letting it all out there. “It made the memories worse and the nightmares worse, and I felt like I was losing my mind.”
“Still havin’ ’em?”
“Not as much,” I answered, reaching down to twine my fingers with his. “I’ve been going to this doctor, and that helps. Yoga with Nan helps, too.”
“Gettin’ all bendy and shit?”
“Of course that’s the part you’d focus on.”
“Just teasin’ you, baby. They’re helping?”
“Yeah. I’m getting better.”
“That’s fuckin’ good news,” he said, squeezing my hand. “’Course, I’d take ya batshit crazy—but I’m real glad you’re feelin’ better, baby. Real glad.”
“I love you,” I whispered, my eyelids drooping. “Don’t leave, okay?”
“I’ll be here when your grumpy ass wakes up,” Cam promised. “Go to sleep.”
* * *
The next morning, I woke up with a start, and immediately felt Cam’s hand rubbing over my belly and the boys moving like crazy.
“What time is it?” I rasped out, relaxing back into the bed.
“A little after eleven,” Cam whispered back, his lips against my throat. “You slept through your parents and Leo leavin’.”
“Where’d they go?” I asked, tilting my head to the side so he had more room to work.
“Who gives a fuck?” His teeth bit down on my skin and I shuddered. “I got you alone.”
“Hold that thought,” I said quickly, scooting away from the heat of his body.
“Where you goin’?”
“Your sons are on my bladder,” I mumbled back as I got to my feet, pushing my pajama shirt down. “I’ll be right back.”
Cam groaned and I couldn’t help but laugh at his grimace as I walked out of the room. Then I took a step backward and leaned my head back inside. “Thanks for staying.”
“Told you I would.”
I made my way to the bathroom with the goofiest smile on my face. I couldn’t help it. I was so freaking happy.
When I got back to the bedroom a few minutes later, Cam was sitting up on the bed, putting on his boots.
“Wait!” I blurted. “I’m back. Take your clothes back off.”
Cam laughed hard, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he motioned for me to come to him.
“Want you bad, Sweetbea, but I’m not fuckin’ you here.”
My stomach dropped. “What? Why?”
Cam grabbed my hips and pulled me forward until I was standing between his spread knees. “Well, besides the fact that your pop would see it on my face and cut my balls off—”
“No, he wouldn’t.”
“I’m also too old to be worryin’ about your parents comin’ home and catchin’ us, and this bed is too fuckin’ small.”
“We need a place to live,” I grumbled as he pushed my t-shirt back above my belly.
“I’ll find one,” he murmured, kissing my bellybutton. “But right now, I want ya to get dressed so I can take ya to the clubhouse and show ya off.”
“They’ve seen me,” I said back, reaching up to run my fingers over his bedhead.
“Haven’t seen ya with me.”
“I’m not taking a shower,” I warned. “I’m guessing you wouldn’t get in there with me, and I don’t want to leave you yet.”
“I’m not goin’ any—”
“Nope.”
“Fine, just get dressed.”
Cam watched me closely as I stripped out of my pajamas, and groaned as I slid a pair of underwear up over my hips. “You’re killin’ me.”
“You said you wanted me to get dressed,” I replied innocently, jumping then laughing hysterically when he acted like he was going to lunge for me.
I pulled on a pair of leggings and a maternity shirt, and as soon as I’d pushed my feet into some sandals, Cam was up off the bed and dragging me toward the front door. I hadn’t even brushed my hair, but I decided not to mention it as he mumbled about getting out of the house so he wouldn’t fuck me under my parents’ roof.