Total pages in book: 128
Estimated words: 123155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 616(@200wpm)___ 493(@250wpm)___ 411(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 123155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 616(@200wpm)___ 493(@250wpm)___ 411(@300wpm)
I also wondered if she’d feel like she was cursed when she was finally old enough to learn about this time in her life—the same way I’d felt cursed when I’d learned about being kidnapped as a baby. I hoped not. It took having Olive to realize that what had happened to me, Cam, and my mom as a kid just sucked. There was no rhyme or reason for it—just a douchebag with a grudge. Somehow, I’d have to make that clear to Olive, too.
“How you doing, sweet thing?” I cooed, leaning over the bed to stare into her slate gray eyes. “Are you getting hungry?”
She answered me with flailing fists, and I couldn’t help but grin. Even with everything happening around us, she was like sunlight chasing away the clouds. It was a miracle that I’d grown something so perfect. I couldn’t even keep plants alive, and yet here she was, strong and healthy and getting bigger every day. Even if I got nothing else right for the rest of my life, I was suddenly certain that this was one arena in which I would excel. I wouldn’t allow myself to fail.
“Jesus,” Mark mumbled as he came in the room a few minutes later. “Seeing you with her is like a punch to the chest.”
“I’m not even sure how to respond to that,” I replied, taking the diaper bag out of his hand.
“You don’t need to respond,” he said, rubbing his sternum. “I’ll just have to get used to it.”
“You’re a big softy,” I said quietly, turning back to the baby.
“Only when it comes to you,” he said, stepping in behind me so he could kiss the back of my neck.
“You know I can’t have sex, right?” I blurted, refusing to look at him as I changed Olive’s diaper. “Not for another month—at least.”
Mark’s hand tightened on my hip before letting go.
“Where’d that come from?” he asked, moving across the room to drop the rest of the bags on the floor.
“You’re being sweet,” I replied. I lifted Olive into my arms and turned. “And you were saying all of that stuff in the truck.”
Mark scoffed. “Cecilia, even if you were all healed up and wet as a rainstorm, I wouldn’t fuck you tonight.”
I jerked in surprise.
“You’re dealin’ with a lot of shit right now. It’s not the time to start any of that.”
“Then why are we sharing a room?” I asked, both relieved and slightly humiliated. A part of me understood what he was saying, but my pride wanted to tell him that I wouldn’t have sex with him ever.
He looked at me like I was stupid. “I’m not sleepin’ without you,” he said simply.
“That makes absolutely no sense,” I argued as Olive began to fuss.
“You want me out?”
“I never said that,” I replied mutinously. Olive started to cry in earnest, her mouth gaping like a little fish.
“What is your problem?” he snapped.
“What’s your problem?” I snapped back.
“Jesus Christ,” he said over the noise. “Fuckin’ feed her already.”
“Don’t tell me what to do,” I spat, even as I sat down on the bed and lifted my shirt.
“I forgot about this,” he said, shaking his head. “The bullshit fights that never ended because they were bullshit.”
“You know where the door is,” I said flatly as Olive began to nurse and the room got quiet.
“Yeah, I’ve already been through that door,” he said, staring at me with his arms crossed over his chest. “Even with the bullshit, it’s better in here.”
His reply completely took the wind out of my sails. Well, shit.
“You wanna argue with me, fine,” he said quietly. “You wanna take your shit out on me because your family is bein’ assholes—do it. Nothin’ I haven’t dealt with before. But don’t tell me to leave, Cec. You’ve only told me that once before, and I listened to you. That’s not happening again.”
“Fine,” I muttered, even though my stomach gave a little flutter.
He sat down on the bed next to me and let out a long breath. “I want to lock us in here and fuck you for a week straight,” he said evenly, though one glance at his hands tightened into fists indicated he wasn’t as calm as he seemed. “But this was a big night for you. Shit, it’s been a massive few weeks. We both know that the minute we fall into bed again, everything’s gonna be so heightened and fucking intense that everything else will fade.”
“Sounds nice,” I replied, making him chuckle.
“Yeah, it does.” He leaned over and kissed the side of my neck. “But you need to figure this shit out with your family, and I’ve still gotta make sure you and Ollie are safe.”
“Do you think she’ll ever be safe?” I asked, cupping her head in my hand. It was so small and fragile that I could see her pulse thrumming in her soft spot.