Total pages in book: 104
Estimated words: 95676 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 478(@200wpm)___ 383(@250wpm)___ 319(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95676 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 478(@200wpm)___ 383(@250wpm)___ 319(@300wpm)
"I can't go home," I blurt, dropping my book. "I have to stay here. I have to―"
I have to stay away from Cam.
If I'm not in jail, there's nothing keeping him from being fired. I can't force him to stay away from me. He'll come to see me. He'll demand to know why I lied, and I'll tell him everything. I'll let him hold me and kiss me…and I'll destroy his life completely.
I leap to my feet and begin pacing the length of my cell. "You have to tell the judge that I can't go home," I tell Ventura. "Tell him that I'm dangerous. I need to be here."
"Ivy." Detective Ventura grabs my arm, spinning me around to face him. "Ivy, stop."
"I can't," I whisper, and then I crack. I'm so goddamned miserable it's pathetic. Tears pour down my face, blinding me. "I have to be here. If I'm not…If I'm not…"
"What happens if you aren't here?" he asks quietly, holding me at arm's length.
"I'll ruin his life," I mumble through my tears. "Don't you get it? If I'm not here, I can't keep him away from me. He'll lose his job, his credibility, maybe even his certification, and it'll be all my fault. Because that's what happens to people I love. They get hurt. They always get hurt, and I can't let that happen to him. I can't." I gasp for breath, but my chest is so tight I can't force air into my lungs.
"Shit," Detective Ventura barks when a keening whimper breaks from my lips. He pushes me toward the bed, forcing me to sit.
I collapse onto the thin mattress, shaking uncontrollably. My throat feels like it's closing up, forcing out what little air I have left. My heart begins to pound, thumping so hard I think I'm going to have a heart attack. My head swims, black spots floating in my field of vision. I just want to breathe but I can't.
I haven't been able to since I made the deal that freed Cam and broke my heart.
Ventura kneels beside me, forcing my head between my knees.
"Breathe, Miss Kendall," he encourages, his voice gruff. "Don't lose it on me now. Come on."
I take a gasping breath and then another. The tightness in my chest eases. My head stops spinning. I breathe slowly, pulling air into my lungs in a steady rhythm. Eventually, my heart stops trying to beat its way out of my chest. My throat relaxes, allowing me to take in one deep breath and then another. The shaking slows, but little tremors still race through me, making me shudder.
"Better?" Detective Ventura asks when I finally lift my head.
I nod mutely.
He rises to his feet again, looking down on me. "You don't belong here," he says after a moment.
"Yes, I do."
"I've met a lot of murderers in my time," he says, sitting beside me with his hands between his knees. He doesn't look at me, instead staring at a dark stain on the floor. "You aren't one of them."
"I'm―" I snap my mouth closed, unable to lie and say out loud that I'm a murderer.
"You lied to me to save Detective Lewis."
"I don't know what you're talking about," I mumble. The words sound like bullshit to me, but I don't have the energy left to make them believable. For whatever reason, he's decided I'm not guilty. As much as I don't want Cam to pay for that…I can't help but feel relief that I'm off the hook with this man, at least.
"You're a terrible liar, Miss Kendall," he says with a rueful shake of his head.
"How…" I lick my lips and try again. "How did you know?"
"Because no one capable of the kind of cruelty displayed toward Mr. Clark would sentence herself to prison to save a cop she was just using. You're in love with him."
I don't think it's a question, but I nod anyway.
"Only a complete idiot would fall for a cop while being investigated," he says, pinning me with another hard look. Though, this time, admiration lurks in his gaze too. "I've spent enough time with you in the last week to know you are far from stupid. From everything I've learned about you, you're a decent person. I'm not going to pretend I know who is setting you up or why, but I'm man enough to admit when I'm wrong. You didn't do this, and contrary to what you may think, I have no interest in seeing an innocent woman sentenced to prison."
"What about Cam?" I whisper.
"What about him?"
"Is he going to be fired?"
Ventura sighs. "Look, I'd love to be able to tell you to go be with him, but the reality is that you're still on the hook for this. Until the D.A. drops the charges, or a jury of your peers finds you not guilty, they could decide to fire him for getting involved with you while assisting with this case. Even if he wasn't assigned to the case officially, he still violated about nineteen different rules. It's up to the two of you to decide whether that's a risk you're willing to take."