Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 75871 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 379(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75871 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 379(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
Colby grabbed his keys off the counter and went straight for his truck. His chest was too tight again, happiness and worry a cyclone inside him.
He needed to talk to someone about this, and the first person he thought about was Roe, but then all those familiar insecurities bubbled up in him, the ones that weren’t fair, but he couldn’t help feeling that Roe had been able to make choices Colby hadn’t. The world looked at emotions too black or white. The things people felt didn’t always make sense, but that didn’t make them less real, and it didn’t make the person who felt them wrong.
So he drove to Clint’s.
He parked his truck and went straight into his friend’s workshop where he made custom metal creations.
Luckily, Clint wasn’t welding. He was standing at the counter, a metal piece in front of him.
“I think I might be demiromantic and have some kind of feelings for Vince,” spilled out of his mouth before he could stop the words.
It wasn’t until Clint’s gaze darted to the side—where there were some metal flowers, a bigfoot, and windmills—that Colby noticed Deacon standing there.
“Shit.” Well, now he’d outed himself to Deacon and let him know something was going on with him and Vince. He didn’t care much about that; it was the other parts of him, how he was unsure and what his family would expect, that made him hold back.
“I’m sorry. That wasn’t meant for me,” Deacon said.
“You don’t have to apologize. Jesus, I must have even seen your vehicle out there and it didn’t register. You can stay.” At this point, why not let him? He’d already shared his truth, and he was so confused, it wouldn’t hurt to have another person to talk to. He went over and stood across the table from Clint.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what that is,” Clint admitted.
Colby ran a hand over his face, still trying to make sense of this whole day, when Deacon said, “It’s someone who needs a deep connection to feel romantic attraction.”
Both Colby’s head and Clint’s whipped in Deacon’s direction. It felt…fuck, it felt good, like some of the weight had been lifted off him that someone knew what it was. Made him feel less different. “How… Are you?” Was Deacon like him?
“Demisexual.” Deacon came closer. “It was more sexual for me. I never really understood the draw of sex, except with Patricia and then Grady.” Deacon had been married to a woman before he and Grady got together. She’d passed away, and it had been hard on Deke. Colby hadn’t seen the light return to his eyes until he’d met Grady. “When I was figuring things out, I did some research and learned about demiromantics.”
“I didn’t realize it was a thing until today. I’ve spent…” He rubbed a hand over his face again, emotion clogging his throat. “I spent my whole life feeling like something was wrong with me. I never understood it—the crushes people felt. Watching everyone around me fall in love. And now…”
“Now you’re in love with Vince,” Clint said. “And even if you weren’t, even if you never fall in love with anyone, there’s nothing wrong with you.”
He hadn’t realized it was tough to breathe until Clint said that, didn’t realize how much he’d needed to hear it. “Thank you. And I’m not sure what I am with Vince. I’m definitely something with him. I feel more for him than I ever have with anyone else. But I’m fucking scared, man. Part of why Vince and I even started this is because neither of us wanted a relationship, neither of us wanted love. I can’t change the game on him now, and if I do, what if I lose him? And I’m even more scared that he will feel the same, and then I’ll realize I’m not demiromantic and I’m just confused about my feelings. What if I realize I don’t really have it in me to do this and I end up hurting Vince? I would never forgive myself for that. I care about him too much.”
“Talk to him,” Deacon said. “I had a whole lotta fear when I realized things were changing with me and Grady. I couldn’t have gotten through it without talking to him. Vince is a good man. The two of you will work it out together. The only way to do that is through honesty.”
Deacon was right, of course he was, but what if… “What if telling him how I feel, or might feel, makes me lose him?”
“Vince would never do that,” Clint assured him. And the thing was, Colby knew that, he’d just needed to hear it. “You have a lot less of a chance at losing him by talking to him than you do by shutting him out.”
“Yeah, yeah you’re right,” Colby replied. He knew Vince. He trusted Vince. He could go to Vince with this, and the thing was, he wanted to go to Vince with it. He wanted to share everything with the man who had come into his life and completely changed his world. “You guys are good at this,” Colby said playfully.