Total pages in book: 72
Estimated words: 91438 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 457(@200wpm)___ 366(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91438 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 457(@200wpm)___ 366(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
“You…you raped her?” I asked, my breath again coming out in pants.
When I tried to dislodge him from my body and get up to my knees, he stopped me.
“There’s a reason I have you like this,” he growled, removing his fingers and flipping me to my stomach.
I rolled, breathlessly, and gasped when he straddled my hips, sitting down on me to keep me in place.
“Listen to it all before you go half-cocked,” he ordered.
I snapped my mouth shut and glared.
“I didn’t have a choice. It was either I do that, or the entire fucking club raped her. I didn’t have a choice!” He yelled. “And I didn’t rape her, I seduced her. And then fell in love with her while I was at it. She had no clue why she was there. She thought she was there for a fucking party.”
I didn’t say anything.
Maybe he didn’t have a choice, but it was still wrong.
“That’s the day Sam was conceived. I kept Leslie separate from the club. Fell so head over heels in love with her that I could barely breathe. However, the club didn’t do monogamy, and I wasn’t expected to either. Not wanting them to hurt my ‘citizen wife’, as they called her, I found Lettie, Sebastian and Shiloh’s mother. I had an ‘ol lady,’ that was aware of what went down in the club to an extent, and then I had Leslie, my real wife in the eyes of God and the government.”
“Why are you telling me this?” I gasped, tears starting to leak down my cheeks.
“Because you need to understand,” he said, bending down to press his lips against my face. “Because I think I’m falling for you when I promised myself I’d never do this ever again. Because it hurts too fucking bad.”
My heart started to flutter, and I couldn’t resist kissing him back.
But I couldn’t help feeling it was wrong, what he’d done.
That it was wrong of me to want to be with him.
“I stayed in the CIA. They felt it was imperative for me to stay in the club, so I did that too. It was my assignment, my job, not a choice. Made a name for myself, but also kept the CIA informed on what I was hearing. By the time Sam was three, I’d made so many enemies, it wasn’t safe for me to leave The Company or the club, which was well on the road to becoming completely legal. The club became my home. But Shovel…Shovel was a thorn in my side from the very beginning, and he made it a point, on a daily basis, to watch me. Study me.”
I nodded, waiting for him to continue.
“He didn’t like how fast I rose within the club. Hated that he no longer made the money that he used to make before I came along. Blamed me for everything that’d changed since I’d arrived,” he said. “Which was true. I’d changed the club, made it mine. Changed every single thing about it that was illegal, and made it a place that I was proud of.”
I blinked, stunned.
He’d done that all at such a young age.
“My kids continued to be in danger, though. Years, I had to deal with Shovel’s shit. He just wouldn’t leave it alone. Then he hurt my boy, knocked him down with a right hook to the face. Which I didn’t take kindly to, especially when Sam’s face split open like an orange on Shovel’s bike spokes. After beating the absolute shit out of him, he continued to dig at me. Just kept picking and picking and picking until I had no other choice but to get rid of him,” Silas said roughly.
His eyes met mine, and I knew what he’d had to do had hurt him.
“I was done following orders that were sent from The Agency at that point. It felt like I’d given my whole life to them and got nothing but heartache in return. So I retired from the CIA and started living my life as the club’s president. Those men were mine, and I’d do with them what I damn well pleased. The club was very important to me, but my kids, my family were more so. Shovel was the last boy left from the old club days who wanted everything to go back to the way it was. We weren’t making the same money we had been, but it also wasn’t anything to sneeze at either. He was pissed at everything I represented. It was the worst mistake of his life, taking his anger for me out on Sam. So I made a call. The last one.”
I rubbed my hands up and down his thighs, urging him to continue without saying a word.
“The CIA put together a plan that would tie him up in a huge bust. They wanted the information he had, though, so he wasn’t to be killed. And he wasn’t. He went down for life. I checked up on him every week since he was put away, but the week you arrived, he was released on bail without my knowledge. And I know he’s here. He wants revenge against me and what I took from him,” he grumbled, looking at his hands.
“What about your kids…your ex-wife…ex-girlfriend. Will he try to hurt them?” I asked softly.
It burned to think about him protecting them, to have his attention on another woman, but I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t bring it up and something were to happen to them.
“I’ve got a few men working on it. They have teams on them, but it’s not them he wants. He wants me. And he won’t settle for anything less,” he said, his hands smoothing up and down my bare back.
“Shovel…he’s nasty. He knows your hopes…your fears. He knows how to get into your head. He can see what will scare you the most. For me…all those years ago…it was my kids. Kids that I hadn’t realized he even knew how much I cared about since I’d taken such great pains to ignore and alienate from my life,” Silas rumbled.