Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 97696 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 488(@200wpm)___ 391(@250wpm)___ 326(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97696 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 488(@200wpm)___ 391(@250wpm)___ 326(@300wpm)
The others tease me about the way we are with each other, the way he just looks at me and I mind him without uttering a word of protest. But they don’t know the half of it. They don’t know about the things he’s awakened in me behind closed doors. I would say in the bedroom, but he doesn’t relegate all of our dalliances to just one place. In just a short time I have become something I never thought I could ever be.
I was once the girl always telling other females to stand up, to take charge, basically ten steps away from becoming a full-blown feminist. I was made that way because of circumstances. No father; no male influence in fact, except for the commander, who had taken an interest in my brother and I because of his friendship with mom. That, and watching my mother kill herself to make ends meet, kind-of hardened me I guess you can say.
The commander did his best to fill the void, but he was gone more than he was here. So by the time I hit my teens, I was well on my way to hating anything male. I’m not dumb enough to think all men are idiots; I just had yet to meet one that wasn’t. And then he came along and turned my whole world upside down.
Everything about him speaks to that secret place inside me. That raw needy place that has been barren for so long. He’s kind, loving, protective, and such a bad boy. I doubt anyone else knows just how bad. My face heated up at the thought. These girls aren’t the type to discuss their bedroom antics thank heavens; I wouldn’t begin to know how to share at show and tell. But if their men were anything like Cord, then they must be some very happy women. Not that I would know, not entirely anyway.
I’ve been ready for weeks now, but he won’t seal the deal. He keeps saying that I’m not ready, ready for what I’d like to know. Sure I’ve never had sex before, who had the time? But I was pretty sure we both had all the necessary equipment, and boy was he equipped; cue the fiery cheeks. Then again he could be stuffing his shorts for all I know. Part of his thing is that I’m not allowed to see him until the time was right. I call it the big reveal.
I’ve barely felt his manhood against me on those rare occasions when he lost control, but other than that, he could be lacking in that department. Who am I kidding? No one with that much self-confidence could be anything less than all man. I was pretty sure that when the time came, he would be more than capable of delivering.
Personally, I think he’s trying to make me crazy and it’s working. I want to see him so bad, feel him, all of him, that I’m willing to risk his wrath. He’s turned me into a damn cock hound and I haven’t even had any yet.
For the past couple months I’ve been on a wild rollercoaster ride. Before Cord, I always thought I’d end up with some nice nine to five guy with two point two kids and a little white picket fence, where I could live out the rest of my life in boredom. Maybe that’s part of the reason I wasn’t in an all fired rush to find someone and settle down, plus the fact that I wasn’t quite ready for the shelf yet.
After meeting Cord, I now know there is so much more to look forward to. If only I could be sure that I was enough for him. I still have doubts about that. It had taken him forever before he went beyond a kiss. At times I felt he was treating me with kid gloves, so it was I who’d tried to force things, take them to the next level. What did he expect when he did things to my body with just a touch that made me want to tear my clothes off? But he always pulled back, always said ‘not yet, you’re not ready.’
I’d been so pissed the last time he said that I’d yelled at him and told him I was going home never to return. I’d said some pretty harsh things to him that night in my anger. It was then I saw the real Cord for the first time. The beast I sometimes sensed lurking just beneath the surface of all that control was fully exposed and boy was he a sight to behold.
It was my threat to go find someone to put out the fire he’d started that had done it. I’d never seen anyone go from hot to cold and back so quickly. That night was also the first time I found myself over his knee. At first I’d been too shocked to do more than scoff before I found myself half naked and his hand was raining blows down on my ass.
I’m still not sure if the tears were from the outrage I felt, or from actual pain. I still haven’t figured it out the half dozen times he’s done it since then. That night was the beginning of a new chapter in our relationship.
That’s when he’d sat me down and explained things to me. His reasons for holding back, for all the things he’d been doing to me that I in my innocence of men had not realized weren’t the norm. I mean the men around here all treat their women with that masterful take-charge attitude. How was I to know that Cord took his a step farther?
“You have to be patient little Susie. I will give you what you want, but only when I feel the time is right. I will not be rushed, you have no idea what I will ask of you, what it is that I want…” Those were the first words he said to me after the spanking.