Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 85725 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 429(@200wpm)___ 343(@250wpm)___ 286(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85725 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 429(@200wpm)___ 343(@250wpm)___ 286(@300wpm)
The sound of a car approaching pushes my back flush against the side of the brickhouse so that the manicured bushes can block me from view. Staying completely still, I actively listen to the overpowering male voice yelling at whoever is on the other end of the phone. His volume booms as he calls them incompetent and slams the car door. Disorganized is the next insult that precedes the honking of the horn which lets the world know his vehicle is locked. Unacceptable becomes the last thing I clearly hear prompting me to count to a hundred before coming out from my spot.
This shit happens like clockwork. Mr. Yelling comes home relatively around the same time every evening either shouting at someone who works for him or screaming at someone to make his latest ‘indiscretion’ disappear; however, he usually ends that particular call before stomping into the house where his wife – who has a habit of watching girl on girl porn before cooking dinner – is waiting to greet him. And before you ask me how I know so much about these people, I already told you. The average person is more routine based than they realize and learning their habits is a crucial method to my daily survival strategy. First, I study the terrain. Which homes have what angles and locations closest to the things like neighborhood security or roads with heavy traffic. Once those have been eliminated, it’s about separating them into two categories, those who have security cameras and those who doesn’t. Those that don’t are then surveyed a little harder for what value I may be able to extract from them such as this one. Due to the barrier bushes and her distraction with getting herself off in the living room with a big, black, vibrating club I’m left with a good window to brush my teeth, bathe, and get clean drinking water all before she runs away to hide her toy, and he storms his ass inside. I guess you could say my tactical military training still plays a productive role in my life.
Wandering away from the Yell House is casually done as to not draw attention to myself.
The trick to keeping suspicions down – besides the obvious action of sticking to the shadows whenever possible – is to avoid eye contact while walking like you know exactly where you’re going. People tend not to think twice if you look like you're headed somewhere in particular versus just aimlessly roaming. That little rule applies regardless of if you’re slinking around the ‘burbs or prowling the streets downtown. It prevents you from looking like a hostile to be watched and presents you more like noncombative to be ignored.
Another night of frigid wind ruthlessly makes itself known. Despite the well-insulated coat and several layers that I’m bearing, cold creeps its way through every crevice it can find, forcing me to acknowledge the unbearable ache it creates in my bum leg.
Should’ve known this below freezing bullshit was here to stay. Then again, it’s hard to be sure of what the weather’s gonna do when the best version of a daily forecast you have is whatever you overhear people bitching about during their morning walk. Please note that ‘totally Ugg boot weather’ doesn’t equate to an actual number on a thermometer. Just sayin’.
“You’re a cheating bastard, Franklin!” The woman on the other side of the sidewalk shouts at the top of lungs at the same time she hauls a vase of roses at him. “You think fucking flowers make up for you fucking our nanny?! Our nanny?!”
“Babe, I-”
“Fuck you! I never wanna see you again!”
His pleas to take the fight inside grow louder in volume as I decide to veer the opposite direction of their confrontation.
Most people don’t realize just how good they have it in relationships until they’ve already trespassed into an area that they have no business being in. Until they’ve already violated the simple treaty of trust. Yeah. I said simple. Because it is simple. Say the shit you mean. Do the shit you say you’ll do. Be honest. If you say you’re going to be fucking faithful then fucking be faithful. Don’t negotiate the terms of a relationship, shit on them, then act surprised when your ally turns on you.
Seeing Pizza Woman’s house in the near distance naturally causes my body to gravitate towards it.
Yeah. The nickname stuck. At least it has in my head. That’s how I’ve been referencing her whenever she’s crossed my mind. And to be brutally honest, she’s done that a lot. More than any person has in years. Before our pizza incident she was simply the 'Two Day House'. For whatever reason the food in her trash was rarely more than a couple days old whenever I would check. It’s wasteful shit, but I won’t complain. It’s provided me with a steady supply of non-rancid food. I appreciate that, even if I don’t agree with what she’s calling trash.