Total pages in book: 133
Estimated words: 123212 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 616(@200wpm)___ 493(@250wpm)___ 411(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 123212 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 616(@200wpm)___ 493(@250wpm)___ 411(@300wpm)
I let out a deep sigh and take a few calming breaths as I meet his eyes, and as I do, his gaze softens and I see nothing but devastation shining back at me.
Shame takes over me. He knows.
“Who told you?” I murmur as he drags me across the bed and into his warm arms. He curls me against his chest and I relax into him. It’s not home but for now, it will do.
“I, uhhh … actually, I don’t know. It was one of your boys though. He said he was just here and demanded that I come and stay with you while they searched for Jude.” His hold tightens around me at the mention of his name and I fight back tears, loving how Eli thought to call Milo to come and be with me so that I don’t have to be alone.
“That was Elijah,” I murmur, wondering how the hell he had gotten Milo’s number, but when it comes to these boys nothing seems impossible.
Milo nods and lets out a heavy breath. “I’m so sorry, Ocean,” he murmurs, his tone filled with pain. “I saw you sitting out there by the pool last night and I kept telling myself to go and be with you, but I saw that kiss with Colton and thought you just needed the space to think it over. If I’d just walked out that damn door and sat with you …”
“Don’t,” I whisper, hating the gut-wrenching pain that rises with his words. “It happened, and there’s nothing we can do about it. Saying ‘what if’ or wishing you’d made different decisions isn’t going to change that. I know you’re hurting too and that it’s eating away at both of us, but I can’t have your guilt for not being able to predict the future riding on my shoulders too. It’s too much.”
“Fuck,” he breathes. “You’re right. I’m sorry, I didn’t think of it that way. I want to take away your hurt, not add to it. I guess I don’t really know what to do or say.”
“Just be here with me so I don’t have to be alone.”
“Okay,” he says, squeezing a little tighter. “I can do that.”
“And perhaps change the topic. I think I’m going to go insane if it doesn’t leave my mind soon.”
“Alright then,” he tells me, sitting us up and dragging me out of bed. “First off, you can explain to me why you smell like a bar, and when you get done doing that, you can tell me why the pool house is filled to the brim with penises. I mean, if you were having a penis party then I’m extremely offended that I wasn’t invited.”
I glance up to find the most serious look on his face, and for just a brief moment, everything is alright in the world. A smile tears across my face and I run for him, crashing into Milo and spreading my arms out wide. I hold onto him with everything I’ve got. “Thank you,” I laugh, feeling another piece of my soul return to my body. “You’re a freaking Godsend. I don’t know what I would do without you right now.”
“Please,” he teases, dragging me back out to the cock-filled living room. “I’m sure you would have caved and would be testing out some of these dildos. Though judging by how much of that tequila bottle is gone, I’d dare say that you’d probably end up in the Emergency Room if you even tried.”
I drop down onto the couch and Milo instantly starts cleaning up the mess that Eli and I had made. The need to help pulses through me but I just can’t seem to find the energy to help. Milo doesn’t say anything, just tells me all about the party and how Colton was standing by the back window, watching me by the pool for most of the night, that is until I got up and left then didn’t return to the party. Apparently, he ran out of there and caused a scene, but no one knew why. Not until now.
My heart breaks. Last night was incredible until it wasn’t. It was supposed to be my fairy tale night. It was my big ending and Colton and I were finally going to open up and make it work. All I had to do was get my ass from the pool area back to the party but apparently, that was too fucking hard.
Happiness was right at my fingertips. I could feel it creeping up on me and despite the shit that Colton and I had fought through, we were just about at the end of the road. It kills me that the night turned out so disastrous.
Fucking Jude. I can always count on him to ruin a good thing. He's had it out for me since the second I arrived in Bellevue Springs and he finally got what he wanted. Well, mostly. Colton barged in before he was able to finish and I’m grateful for that, but it still doesn’t take away those haunting memories.