Total pages in book: 133
Estimated words: 123212 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 616(@200wpm)___ 493(@250wpm)___ 411(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 123212 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 616(@200wpm)___ 493(@250wpm)___ 411(@300wpm)
The Nic that I knew would have had me removed before handling his shit. He would have protected me, but it’s as though he didn’t even see me when he looked at me. He saw right through me as though the girl he’s so used to protecting wasn’t even there.
I understand it, I really do. He’s a violent guy and was presented with the men who had just killed his father, the leader of the Black Widows. His soul would have been aching. I know the feeling. Losing a parent is the hardest thing that’s ever happened to me, but add the pressure he would have been under from his gang to avenge his father, and it would have been torture. But to murder those men in that way … it was brutal. I wonder if he even feels guilt over it or if to him, it’s just another Saturday night.
Is this the type of thing he would do before coming and sneaking into my bed, pretending that he’s a good guy and touching me with hands that had just dealt death? Don’t get me wrong, I was never completely in the dark. I’m well aware that all four of the boys have ended someone’s life, maybe many lives, but I’ve never witnessed it. I’ve always been protected from it, but the look in Nic’s eyes … that was easy for him. He didn’t flinch, didn’t show a damn sign of guilt, and sure as hell didn’t ask himself what the fuck he was doing.
That’s not the man I know and certainly not the one I love.
He’s a fucking murderer … just like my father.
Mom was right all this time. I should never have let them into my life, but I was young and dumb. There were four incredible guys inserting themselves into my life, treating me like their queen and protecting me with everything they had. What kind of fool could resist that?
Headlights appear in my rearview mirror and at first, I think nothing of it until the car moves right in behind me, too close to be coincidental. My heart rate picks up and my eyes remain locked on the headlights until the car moves in beside me and I recognize Kairo’s beat-up shitbox.
I take a breath. Had it been anyone else who had witnessed that, I’m sure the Widows would have been after them. They would have killed them to ensure their silence, and I’m sure had Kian been alive and I’d witnessed him do the exact same thing, he still would have killed me. He would have just gone about it in a way that Nic and the boys didn’t know about until it was already too late. But just like the three men who just lost their lives, that’s the game you play when you involve yourself with the Black Widows.
My phone blares through the quiet car and my eyes drop to the screen.
Kai.
Great.
I don’t know if I can talk to him but history tells me that he’ll keep calling until I do. Either that or he’ll force me to pull over so he can say what he needs to say. There’s no bullshit when it comes to Kai. He’s black and white. There’s no grey area where he’s concerned.
Being shit outta luck, I reluctantly answer. “I’m not in the mood to talk, Kai,” I say. “And don’t even think about asking me to pull over. I said I’m done. I just want to go home and … forget.”
There’s a short pause before his raspy, deep tone finally comes through the phone. “I know,” he says with a whisper. “I don’t want to talk. I just … I need to make sure you get home okay. Just let me drive with you.”
My gaze flashes out the window and I meet his concerned eyes through the glass. “Okay,” I finally say, turning back to the road. I hear the soft music from his sound system coming through the phone as I drop it to my lap and put it on speakerphone.
We drive side by side for two hours and not a damn word passes between us. Tears silently track down my face the whole way home as the heaviness of my day sits on my heart. I can’t stop glancing up to make sure he’s still there. I don’t know why though. I made it clear that I was done, yet my heart still aches for my boys. I need them in my life, they’ve been my support system for so long. I don’t know how to be without them.
After what feels like the longest drive in history, I finally pull into the driveway of the Carrington mansion. I key in the code and watch as Kai pulls in behind me. The big iron gates slowly peel open and as I speed down the driveway, Kai keeps right behind me. “Whatever you do, wherever you go,” he murmurs, his voice coming clearly through the phone. “We love you, Ocean. We always will. Don’t you ever forget that.”