Total pages in book: 63
Estimated words: 59183 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 296(@200wpm)___ 237(@250wpm)___ 197(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 59183 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 296(@200wpm)___ 237(@250wpm)___ 197(@300wpm)
I had a roommate studying acupuncture and other alternative medicines who first taught me about Feng Shui. Through techniques in traditional Chinese practices and my own interpretations, I found a balance with my physical and spiritual body and Mother Earth.
This lifestyle change isn’t about paying penance for my parents’ deaths as much as it is my coping mechanism. In finding my center, I have learned to face life and every moment, and not in fear and despair. The depression doesn’t control me anymore. The loss and fear of losing everyone I get close too doesn’t consume me anymore. I learned to live again. It is clean, positive, and balanced.
I’m not sure what my parents would think of my lifestyle choices if they were alive. Then again, if they were here, I wouldn’t have lost my footing in life in the first place. I took too much for granted, and now I treasure, value, and respect it all.
Thinking of my own family, an idea hits me suddenly. Birth announcements! My mother and father had kept mine from the newspaper when I was born. Surely, Coal’s parents would have had his.
Three hours later, I learn that Trevor “Coal” Blake was born a healthy nine pound, eleven-ounce baby to James and Nita Blake. He grew up moving around with his dad’s Army career. He went to Garfield Senior High School and graduated with honors.
From searching his high school online yearbook, it turns out Trevor Blake had a high school girlfriend named Amber Bridges. Their prom picture was in the annual, and from there, I followed the trail.
Amber Bridges, now Amber Bridges-Stokes, believes in social media. The young woman graduated alongside Coal then took off to Penn State where she earned a Master’s Degree in Psychology.
Interesting.
She has an album on her profile with pictures of her and Coal when they were teens.
A lot has changed for him since these photos were taken. First, his eyes are so full of life in these photos. I can’t help wondering what scarred him so deeply.
He’s grown. The man was tall before, but now I think he may be even taller than he was in high school. He’s also broader, more muscular, and there is an innocence in these pictures that is long gone. No, the man he is today is dangerous compared to the young man he once was in these photos.
Amber Bridges-Stokes has found her happily ever after with a military man of her own. They are currently stationed in Kentucky. Carson Stokes smiles adoringly in every single photo at his wife and their young daughter Emma. Amber has moved on in life, but she hasn’t.
As I look through the comments on the photos of Coal, I notice she has left a message asking if anyone knows where Trevor is to contact her. She posts on more than one that she needs to explain some things to him. The replies to her only make me more curious. There are posts saying she doesn’t deserve to speak to him. Other posts say he’s dead and she needs to forget him.
What happened between these two? Is she the reason he swears he’s black as coal? I can’t help wondering why a woman who is happily married and settled in life continues to seek out a man from her past.
I scribble down what I can sort out from Amber’s posts and the birth announcement then log out.
My phone rings, stopping me as I answer Morgan’s call.
“Hello,” I greet. Even I can hear the guilt in my voice.
“I need recipes! Help a sister out!”
“What kind?” I ask, looking back at the phone screen as if it’s a diseased animal.
“Of the healthy variety! Madyson has decided she needs to revamp her life. This is a huge step for her. I’m going to be her biggest cheerleader, even if it kills me.”
I laugh at Morgan, knowing her love for her sisters runs deep. “I’ll get some together and drop them by. You know how I feel about this phone thing.”
“Paisley, you’re the best. You also need to relax a little, honey. Talking on the phone isn’t going to give you cancer.”
“Um … Morgan, is that why you think I don’t like the phone?”
“Well, what other reason would there be?”
Deciding my past is far too heavy to lay on her shoulders or anyone else’s, I don’t argue. Can she understand that after losing my family, I just want to talk to people face to face? So many things are misunderstood and miscommunicated in emails, text messages, and phone conversations. Body language is a communication all its own.
“Okay, let me get finished at the library and I’ll be by.”
“Library?”
I huff out a breath. “I needed the internet.”
She laughs at me. “Paisley, you know you’re welcome to use my computer or Desirae’s anytime.”
How do I explain that the library’s stuff is already running, and to minimize the impact on the environment, it’s better I come here since I could walk from the gym? It’s not something most people would even think about.