Cluelessly Yours – It’s A Funny Story Read Online Max Monroe

Categories Genre: Alpha Male, Contemporary, Funny Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 97592 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 488(@200wpm)___ 390(@250wpm)___ 325(@300wpm)
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“The guy who spends most of his night playing stand-up comedian in the nurses station is talking to me about hard labor? Ha.” My fake laugh is the definition of mockery. “That’s cute.”

“Oh, boys, boys, boys.” Kendall steps in between us. “Could you save your pissing match for another day? Chanandler and I are ready to run, and by the looks of Dolly, she is too.”

Dolly wags her tail, and Chanandler barks his approval.

“All right,” I agree and reach down to give Dolly’s head a rub. “Let’s do it.”

Dale tosses his cup in the nearby garbage can. “Start us off, babe.”

Kendall takes the lead, jogging in front of our group, and only turns back to look at Dale and me to make a final point we’re both entirely familiar with after ten years of friendship. “Plus, both of you know if we’re going to get into a dick-measuring match about our jobs, I’d win any day!” she calls over her shoulder, her smile snide enough to match her words.

Since she’s a fucking neurosurgeon—the top one in the country, actually—Dale and I don’t even bother with a response.

We also don’t try to keep up with Kendall and Chanandler’s swift pace. It’s not long before they’ve left us in the dust. In no time at all, Dale, Dolly, and I are almost startingly alone on the path of the park that skirts Columbus Circle.

“How’d that bypass go, by the way?” Dale asks.

“Took nearly six hours,” I answer and guide Dolly to my left side to give a guy on a bike a little more space to pass. “His heart was a mess, but Weller managed.”

“I knew that surgery was going to be complicated. It’s why I called you to come in, even though you were second call.”

“Wait…I wasn’t the only anesthesiologist on call?”

“Blake Houston was first call.”

“You bastard.” I purposefully shove him with my free hand.

“Hey,” he says with a chuckle as he finds his balance again. “You and I both know Blakey boy would’ve only caused Weller more stress. He’s too new. Too young. He still needs time to get his feet wet before he can handle the big-boy surgeries.”

All I can do is sigh and keep jogging.

“Wait…are you pissed at me for calling you in?” Dale asks, a smile firmly intact on his face. I’ve known this man for years, and unless he has a gunshot victim bleeding out on his ER table, taking anything seriously isn’t his forte.

Which is why I don’t even dignify him with a response. Instead, I focus on running. And mentally thinking about what it would’ve been like if I’d actually gotten to wake up with Sammy.

“All right,” Dale announces about a mile into our six-mile run. “What’s your deal today, Philips?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” he states. “You never get pissed when I call you in, you’re never this fucking silent on our runs, and you currently have quite the look on your face.”

I scoff. “I don’t have a look.”

“Trust me, you have a look.” Dale snorts. “Though, I can’t decide if it’s constipation or something else entirely. You’re a difficult man to read.”

“Why are all you ER doctors so obsessed with everyone else’s bowel function? It’s deranged.”

“Gut health is at the foundation of everything. It’s smart medicine,” he retorts, and his grin is cheeky. “So…is that it? Are you constipated, Noah? Because I got your back, man. I’ll prescribe you the good stuff. Have you shitting in no time.”

“I don’t need your black-market laxatives.” I elbow him in the side, and he blesses my ears with a painful grunt.

“Then what’s the deal?” he questions, still holding his ribs while keeping up with my pace. When I don’t respond, he adds, “Just so you know, the instant we catch up with Kendall, even if it’s at the end of all six miles, I’m going to ensure that she rides your ass about this until you break.”

Son of bitch.

“I… Fuck, I really don’t think I should tell you this.”

“Tell me anyway. That’d be so fun. Plus, it’d save you unnecessary torture from my scary wife.”

I roll my eyes.

“C’mon, Philips. Tell ole Papa Bear what’s got you in a tizzy.”

Dale is one of my closest friends, but he’s also annoying as fuck. I waver for ten seconds on whether I want to tell him what’s on my mind because I know, without a shadow of a doubt, it’ll have consequences.

Unfortunately, so will keeping it to myself.

“You know the woman I told you about?”

“The woman you told me about?” he repeats, craning his neck to meet my eyes. When I don’t respond, he furrows his brow for a long moment before his mouth forms a perfect circle. “Oh…the woman. The only woman you talk about. Single mom, walks on water, is the key to your soul’s everlasting happiness? Yeah, I think I’ve heard of her.”


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