Cluelessly Yours – It’s A Funny Story Read Online Max Monroe

Categories Genre: Alpha Male, Contemporary, Funny Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 97592 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 488(@200wpm)___ 390(@250wpm)___ 325(@300wpm)
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I cup her face eagerly, and I kiss her again before raining playful kisses all over her pretty face.

“Okay. Okay.” She giggles and teasingly slaps my hands away. “We better stop, or else everyone in this diner is going to lose their appetite.”

“Good. Then we’ll have the place to ourselves,” I counter as she moves to sit back down in her seat.

Sammy squeezes my hand once more, but the sound of warring text notifications fills the air between us before I can persuade her anymore.

She tilts her head to the side in confusion. “Was that my phone or yours?”

“I don’t know. Both, I think.” I snag my cell out of my pocket, while she pulls hers out of her purse.

Brooke: I’ve decided that the boys and Dolly are spending the night. You’re not allowed to pick them up until tomorrow. And, you know, if you want to extend your date night into, like, a nightcap, you definitely should… ☺

“Did my sister seriously start a group chat with us and then cryptically encourage we have sex tonight?”

“Yeah.” I lift my eyes from my phone to meet hers on a laugh. “I think she just did.”

Sammy’s fingers furiously tap across the screen of her phone, and a second later, my phone vibrates with a new message.

Sammy: Actually, do you mind keeping the boys and Dolly for an extra four days? Noah and I have decided to run off to Vegas and get married.

“Oh no,” I comment, but I’m also laughing my ass off. “I think your sister’s head might explode after reading that.”

Not even a second later, Brooke confirms the explosion with a resounding shock wave.

Brooke: SAMMY. YOU BETTER BE JOKING RIGHT NOW. I SWEAR TO GOD, I WILL STRANGLE YOU IF YOU RUN OFF TO GET MARRIED BEFORE ME AND WITHOUT ME THERE.

Sammy grins at me over the screen of her phone. I snort.

“You think I should let her off the hook?”

“Yeah.” I nod.

“You’re such a softy, Noah,” she teases, but she also types out another message with a sweet smile on her face that tells me she appreciates it.

Sammy: Relax, sis. I’m just kidding. But we will take you up on your offer to keep the boys and Dolly so we can have sex all night.

I don’t wait to discuss whether she’s joking or not before making my move. Because as far as I’m concerned, spending the night having sex with the woman of my dreams is no joke at all.

“Check, please!”

“I think we left our to-go boxes in the cab,” Sammy says, her lips basically fused to mine for the thirtieth minute in a row.

The entire way home from Waverly’s, we’ve been kissing and touching and doing pretty much every PDA thing you can do while still out in public and not put yourself at risk for coming face-to-face with the NYPD. And now, with my apartment door officially in view, I’ve got no plans for stopping.

“Fuck the food,” I tell her as I blindly guide us off the elevator and down the hallway toward my door.

Sammy giggles around my persistent lips, and fuck, I’m barely hanging on by a thread at this point.

I fumble for my keys when we turn the corner of the hallway, the view of my door nonexistent because Sammy’s mouth is still attached to mine. She tastes like chocolate milkshake and Sammy and perfection, and I just hope I can get us into my apartment before I start ripping her clothes off.

“Noah.”

My eyebrows pull together as I kiss Sammy harder, fancifully fascinated with how she’s managed to say my name and keep her tongue in my mouth all at the same time.

But when she disentangles herself from me and turns around to face my apartment door, I realize the magic of Sammy saying my name while we’re making out is that she wasn’t the one saying it at all.

“Ashley?” I question, confusion turning my voice raspy. I haven’t seen or talked to this woman in months. What the hell is she doing at my apartment?

“I’ve been trying to get ahold of you, but I guess I can see why you’ve been ignoring me,” she responds, and she glances back and forth between me and Sammy.

“Noah?” Sammy asks. “What’s going on?”

“Listen, I’m sorry to catch you off guard like this, but I didn’t know what else to do. It’s really important.”

It’s only then that my eyes catch sight of the perfect roundness of her stomach, and a mountain of dread covers me so swiftly I can hardly breathe.

“Noah, I’m pregnant,” Ashley says. “And we really need to talk.”

Still Sunday, May 29th

Sammy

Time shrieks and the world stands still as words I never considered a possibility churn over and over and over again in my head.

Noah, I’m pregnant. And we really need to talk.

Noah, I’m pregnant.

Noah, I’m pregnant.


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