Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 88064 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88064 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
There isn’t another person in the world who I’d want to be with when I make that phone call. But even though Logan is my rock, I’m nothing more substantial than the seeds on the head of a dandelion, light and fluffy and ready to blow away as soon as the breeze picks up.
33
BRADLEY
When Logan knocks on our door early in the morning, I know he’s got something to share beyond work. "Come in," Bryce says, stepping back to let Logan pass. "You look like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders."
"Dawn told me."
"She told you?"
"The thing she’s running from. The thing that made her get the tattoo."
Instinctively, I sit on the edge of my mattress, feeling sweat prickle under my arms. The way Logan’s talking makes it sound bad. Really bad. I’m not the only one who’s considered that she might be sick, even though she exudes health and vitality. It’s a thought I’ve been pushing away, too terrible to dwell on.
Bryce closes the door solemnly, letting it click shut quietly. "Is this one of those things that you wish you didn’t know as soon as you know?" he asks.
Logan nods. "She’s waiting on results to find out if she has a high risk of developing the cancer her mom passed away from."
"What?" I ask. All I heard were the words cancer and results.
He raises his hands. "She’s not sick. At least, not right now. It’s genetic testing. But if it shows she is high risk, there is a whole list of things she will have to consider."
"Like what?" I ask, feeling ignorant. It’s the kind of thing I should know considering what Logan’s been through.
"Removal of parts of her body that can stimulate the cancer."
I grimace, and Bryce shakes his head, his fist clenching by his side. "I don’t even want to ask what parts," I say. "This is fucked up."
"She doesn’t want to find out the result?" Bryce asks.
"Yeah. That’s pretty much it. The result is waiting for her but she’s avoiding finding out. It’s why her dad keeps calling. That’s why she came to Australia in the first place."
"She’s running from the truth," I say.
"She’s running from a potential future she doesn’t know how to deal with."
Bryce straightens, tipping his head to one side. "But it’s only a possibility, right? She could get the all clear?"
"Exactly. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know what I found out. I’ve done my best to encourage her to make the phone call. She’s terrified and I don’t know if what I said is enough to change her mind. I don’t know if it will affect her thoughts about us in any way. Maybe she’ll still move on, whatever she finds out. If the result is bad, she’ll have to return home if she decides to take preventative action. It’s a whole fucking minefield."
Logan’s jaw ticks as he considers the possibilities and what it might mean for us all.
I don’t want her to leave. I want her to stay whatever she finds out. I want to be there for her, to support her, to be a rock through hard times, and I know my friends all feel the same.
When Logan shakes his head, it’s obvious just how much this is getting to him. Maybe it’s raising old memories of his own experiences. They were times we all wish we could wipe from our minds. "Don’t worry about telling the rest," I say. "Me and Bryce have got that covered."
He nods once, his shoulders dropping with relief.
"I don’t think anyone else should talk about this with Dawn. Can you tell them? It’s raw, and it won’t serve any purpose. I’ve pointed her to the right path. She needs to make the decision to follow it."
"But we have to do something," Bryce says, his voice conveying the frustration I feel.
"All we can do is continue to show her how much we want and need her. How much we want her to stay. And how supportive we can be."
"How much we love her, you mean?" I say. It’s not our usual tone of conversation, but Dawn is wrestling a huge monster right now. We have to at least be able to say the words that have defined our relationship.
"Yes," Logan says, as Bryce nods, too. "But whatever you do, don’t say that word to her. She’s not ready to hear it. If anything, it’ll scare her. We could lose her forever."
"So what do we do?" Bryce asks.
"We do everything in our power to show her just how incredible living here with us can be," I say. "That’s what you mean, isn’t it, Logan?"
"Yeah." He shrugs his shoulders, as though he knows it’s not really enough, but he’s resigned to follow it through, anyway.
By lunchtime, everyone knows and even though we resolve to hide our worry from Dawn, there’s a somber blanket of worry over us all.