Total pages in book: 106
Estimated words: 98226 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 491(@200wpm)___ 393(@250wpm)___ 327(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98226 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 491(@200wpm)___ 393(@250wpm)___ 327(@300wpm)
“You aren’t even supposed to be here!”
My head snapped back at those words, and I found I had nothing to say back to them. They hung like barbed wire between us, prickly and dangerous.
Joel sighed, running his hands through his hair as he looked back at the pool and then to me again.
But he didn’t take it back.
My eyes watered, nose stinging as hurt made its way past the anger in my chest. “We should go to our room and talk.”
“I don’t want to leave.”
“Joel,” I pleaded, tears welling in my eyes.
“If you want to go, go. But I’m having fun.”
And with those words, he turned his back on me, leaving me at the top of the stairs while he got back to the party like everything was fine. Ivy, Celeste, and Ace welcomed him back to the pool, but Emma watched me with sad eyes. She started to get out of her chair but I shook my head, stopping her short.
Then, I dashed down the stairs like the top deck was on fire.
“Ugh!” I huffed when I made it to the stateroom, slamming the door behind me before I let my back fall against it. As soon as I was alone in that room, the tears I’d been trying to hold back flooded, rushing down my hot cheeks as I swiped at them. I didn’t want to cry. I didn’t want to show any kind of pain or weakness.
I wanted to be mad.
I ripped Celeste’s swimsuit off, tearing at it like it was the enemy before I threw it across the room. I thought seriously of shredding it with a pair of scissors, but then remembered I didn’t have any. So, with another huff, I pulled on a pair of cotton panties and the one sleep shirt I had with me. It was light gray, soft and long, hitting me mid-thigh and the sleeves almost reaching my elbows. The moment the fabric fell over me, I found a sigh, my first real breath since I’d left the top deck.
And with it, my face contorted with another wave of tears.
“Come on, Aspen,” I whispered against the pain. “Get it together.”
I dragged myself into the bathroom, almost laughing at my ridiculous reflection in the mirror. I didn’t have any of the miraculous makeup remover my sister had at home, so I settled on a hot, wet washcloth and soap.
I scrubbed at my makeup, watching as the black and golds and pinks swirled together in a Picasso fashion on my face. And all the while, two sides of myself battled in my heart.
He’s just drunk. He doesn’t mean it.
It doesn’t matter if he’s drunk, that was mean.
He’s right, though, you’re not usually around. And this is the way they all act with each other. You may not understand it, but it’s the culture.
Bullshit. Your boyfriend shouldn’t grab another girl’s tits. Period.
Ivy is your friend. Look, she even did your makeup tonight!
You can trust Ivy about as far as you can throw her.
But Celeste…
DIDN’T STAND UP FOR YOU. No one did.
Joel loves you.
You don’t even know who Joel is anymore.
Everything is fine, just go to sleep and you’ll feel better in the morning.
Nothing is okay. Who even are you anymore?
With each volley, I scrubbed harder and harder, making my skin red and agitated. Most of the makeup was coming off, but the mascara was waterproof and stubborn. I scrubbed it as much as I could before I gave up and tossed the washcloth in the sink.
I stared at my reflection — at my tired, puffy eyes, my red cheeks, my disheveled hair. My eyes caught on the stupid pair of bedazzled earrings Ivy had given me to wear and I growled, fussing until I got one of them off and then the other. I accidentally dropped one of them, and I cursed, falling to my knees on the floor as I scurried around looking for it.
The girl had fondled my boyfriend under the water with me right there, and yet I didn’t want to be the jerk who didn’t return her earrings.
Typical.
I was on my hands and knees, padding around on the bathroom floor looking for that stupid earring as more tears flooded my eyes.
And that’s how Theo found me.
I heard the door to the stateroom creak open, and I looked up, thinking maybe Joel had come to talk.
Instead, Theo walked in, his dress shoes tapping along the wood until he stood at the doorway of the bathroom. He slipped his hands in his pockets, looking down on me with bent brows. “Sorry I didn’t knock,” he said, but he didn’t look sorry at all.
I sniffed, wiping at the tears on my face and trying to hide the mess I was from his gaze as best I could.
“I was in the salon on the main deck when you blew past,” Theo said after a moment. “You looked upset.”