Total pages in book: 47
Estimated words: 44256 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 221(@200wpm)___ 177(@250wpm)___ 148(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 44256 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 221(@200wpm)___ 177(@250wpm)___ 148(@300wpm)
That’s…so incredibly kind. I immediately feel like a jerk all over again that I haven’t given his friends more of a chance. He’s staunchly supported them even when I pointed out that they were teasing him. He said they were close like siblings, and I get it now. If this is the history they have had together, no wonder he loves and trusts them. No wonder he doesn’t mind when they tease him.
Aithar smiles at me and runs a hand over my curls. “I like your mane. Your curls are so lively.”
“You like everything about me,” I point out.
“I really do.”
Somehow that eases some of the tightness in my chest. I move closer to him, and when he puts his arms around me and drags me into his lap, I let him. It’s the second time in two days that he’s cuddled me and I’ve allowed it. Normally I’m so careful because I don’t want to lose control of our ‘situation.’ I’m afraid that’s gone entirely out the window, though.
Hugs? I absolutely need them. Especially his hugs.
He tucks me under his chin and rubs my arm. “I hate that I’ve made you cry.”
“I hate that I’ve become one of those people that cries over things I should want.” I lean into his warmth, his strength. His uniform is a little starchy against my skin, but it creates a fascinating contrast against the hardness of the muscles underneath it. “I should want another person to be successful with their farm. I should want a bounty hunter contacted to find my sister. I should want to have friends. I should want to have less work. Instead, it all terrifies me.”
“Mm.” He holds me close, not disagreeing. The floor is hard and cold underneath my legs, but I don’t want to get up. I like being in his arms, even if we’re on the floor in an uncomfortable sort of pile. Then, he asks, “Perhaps you need to be broken of your fears like I was broken of mine.”
“You think your friends want to come over and help me with that? They probably think I’m terrible for you.”
“They do not. They are thrilled that I am so happy. And the idea I had for helping you with your fears does not involve others participating.”
“No?”
“No.” He leans in and nips the shell of my ear with his teeth. A heated flutter starts in my belly. “You are afraid to give control of your situation away. Let me take control for one night. Just to prove that you don’t have to be in charge all the time.”
A shiver works up my spine. Let him have control of our time together? “What does that entail, exactly?”
“Everything you think it does.”
“Sex?”
“I would love to have sex with you, but if you’re not ready, then that won’t be on the table. But perhaps you’ll let me make your butter for a day. And then we’ll come home and I’ll kiss you and pleasure you. It will be about you instead of about me.”
Just thinking about letting him handle my butter for a day has me sweating. That’s the part I’m struggling with the most, because I already like his kisses and caresses. “I’m ready for sex. You think this will help me get over my control issues? If I let you take over for the day?”
“I don’t know if it will get rid of them entirely, but I think it will prove to you that the world doesn’t end if you do.”
Right. Okay. There’s no need to panic just yet. It’s just a bit of control. It’s just for one day. It’s just one or two batches of butter.
So…why am I sweating already?
“When are we doing this?” I ask in a light, panicky tone. “Now?”
“Tomorrow.” He brushes his lips over my cheek. “I’ll tell the others I need the day off from my work station and get someone to cover my shift. Then I will come over and we will make butter together.”
“Together? That’s not so bad.”
“Correct. You will tell me how to proceed and I will be the one doing all the work.”
I take it back. That’s bad. “And after that…?”
“After that, you and I talk about where we’re going from here. No judgments. No pressure. Just an honest discussion of the best path forward in all ways.”
It sounds sensible. Practical. We work through some of my fears by confronting them, and then have a discussion of what the future looks like. Does it include a bounty hunter finding my sister? A butter monopoly in the area?
Does it include Aithar? He’s never pushed me for more. He’s always been quietly supportive and let me lead.
But tomorrow changes everything, and I’m suddenly terrified of what that might mean.
CHAPTER
TWELVE
MICHAELA
I don’t sleep well. How can I? I stare at the ceiling for half the night, my mind going through a dozen worst-case scenarios.