Total pages in book: 49
Estimated words: 46412 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 232(@200wpm)___ 186(@250wpm)___ 155(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 46412 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 232(@200wpm)___ 186(@250wpm)___ 155(@300wpm)
Everything has happened so fast. As a nurse, I need to be on my toes and ready for anything. My job literally requires me to roll with the punches and stay in control. I do it fine in a work setting. With my history with Mason though, it’s almost impossible to be that way in a relationship.
I can’t wrap my mind around the drastic change in King. In the hospital, he was protective of Thomas, to a level that you very rarely see except between close family members. He was asking us to take more blood even when he could barely focus because he was dizzy and weak. I just don’t understand what’s going on and it feeds my insecurities.
Anytime I try to bring my questions up, King says its club business. I guess I can understand that, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t feel like there are secrets separating us. It makes me feel uneasy. I even find myself wondering if King isn’t invested—truly invested—in having a relationship with me. Maybe he doesn’t trust me enough to let his guard down and maybe, he just views me as a temporary fix because he’s lonely. Either way I’m left twisting myself up in knots, not knowing what to do or expect.
I never wanted another relationship. Mason pretty much cured me of that. I truly didn’t want one where there wasn’t total honesty. Secrets lead to complications, and I don’t want or need anything complicated in my life anymore. I also want to come first with the person I choose as a partner in my life. I think with King I’m on a path where he will always be more devoted to the club than me. I sigh. If I was going to get invested in a relationship, I should have picked someone safe, nice, and boring like an accountant.
I shake my head, deciding to take a hot shower and get ready for bed. While my body goes through the motions, my mind won’t shut up. I thought I needed space away from King so I could figure things out. Yet, now that I have it, I want to see him. I’m stuck in a game of pull and tug with what I can see and what I feel.
It’s exhausting.
I take my time washing my hair and shaving my legs, letting the water wash away all the jumbled thoughts of the day. By the time I towel off and slip on my pajamas, I feel as if I’m dead on my feet. My bed is calling to me and my soft purple pajamas only help to make my eyes heavy.
As I snuggle into bed, my phone rings. My heart flip flops. My first thought is that King is calling me and I smile. The caller ID says it’s a private number. I never gave him my number, but he seems to be able to get information on me easily. Besides, I’ve seen enough to know MC clubs have access normal people don’t.
“Hello?” I ask. I sound breathless and I can feel heat blooming on my cheeks. It’s crazy how excited I am just to hear King’s voice. My heart is running away with me.
“Hey, Sunshine,” a deep voice croons in my ear. Only one person ever called me that. My heart stutters to a stop as the hair on my neck stands up. My blood runs cold making my hand tremble as I hold the phone to my ear. Panic—pure terror—claws at me.
Mason.
“Why are you calling?” I hiss. I used to think it was cute, but overtime his cute nickname became hated because he only used it to try and coax me back to giving him what he wanted after he had berated and belittled me.
“I missed you,” Mason drawls out. The way his breath crackles through the phone makes my skin crawl as if his lips are close to my ear.
“That’s not my problem,” I bite out.
“C’mon baby, we were good together. You have to miss me. You were like liquid fire in my arms. We were addictive together and I know how you loved my cock.”
Shame crawls through me. I can’t believe I ever gave this man my body. The memory that I slept with him makes me want to vomit. I think the hardest pill for me to swallow is that I gave him my body willingly long before he took it over and over and abused it without permission.
“The only thing you really miss is the money you used to take from me,” I snap.
It was just little stuff at first, I’d give him gas money or money for smokes. Overtime, as the abuse got worse, he made me cancel my direct deposit and cash my check in front of him so he could have it. He didn’t want me to have money to fall back on and leave him. I knew at the time that he had his own money, but I didn’t know he had other habits that he wasted his money on. Habits that only made his anger worse.