Total pages in book: 120
Estimated words: 116254 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 581(@200wpm)___ 465(@250wpm)___ 388(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 116254 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 581(@200wpm)___ 465(@250wpm)___ 388(@300wpm)
The choices Breck had made last night were, yet again, downright abysmal.
Breck swallowed. Palmed the top of his head. “I didn’t want to drink. But I couldn’t stop thinking about you and everything that’s happened and… God, I just needed a break from my own damn head.”
Kai sighed, for once completely relating. But even as his heart wavered, his mind and his pride demanded he stand his ground. Despite what Breck claimed, what happened last night was still completely fucked up. He couldn’t afford to second guess his instincts yet again.
“Word to the wise, Breck. Stop trying to evade all your problems. No amount of sex or alcohol will keep them away forever.”
“I know. You’re totally right. I’m gonna turn a new leaf. I swear it.” Breck held his gaze and softened his voice. “Can we be cool again?”
Kai wished they could, he genuinely did. Problem was, he didn’t believe that Breck would actually change. At least, not in the ways Kai needed.
He inclined his head. “Yes, in respect to not being angry with each other. But other than that…” He exhaled and looked away.
Breck stifled a groan. “But you still want this. I know you do. You came to my place last night for a reason. You were looking for me.”
Kai couldn’t deny that. Didn’t even try. “I guess you could say I’ve had a change of heart.”
“Kai,” Breck murmured dejectedly. “I wasn’t with those girls.”
Kai looked back at him. “Are you implying you thought everything was good before I saw the three of you on that couch?”
“No,” Breck conceded. “I need to change some shit. I know this. Need to reel in the drinking and get a handle on my life.” His eyes turned heartfelt as he held Kai’s gaze. “What I said the other night… I was just pissed. You’re not like the others. You’re so much better, and—”
“Breck, don’t.” Kai shook his head. “I’m not interested in where you’re trying to go with this. Last night… maybe I thought I was, but I was wrong.” Holding Breck’s gaze, he forced out the words. “We’re not right for each other.”
Breck lifted his chin stubbornly. “That’s subjective.”
Kai smiled sadly. “I’m not the kind of man who likes to share—”
“I’m not asking you to.”
“—and I refuse to be a plaything in your closet.”
That shut Breck up. Then his big body sagged. He knew what Kai was saying but clearly still had no intention of ever going public.
Gaze dropping to the floor, he gripped his nape again and started kneading. Long moments later, he lifted his eyes and cleared his throat. “Then maybe we can go back to how shit was before. You, a rigger. Me, a rope model helping you practice. I’ll be leaving soon for Hawaii anyway. After that, I’ll be busy as shit again getting ready for the Draft.”
Kai’s heart fisted at the meaning behind Breck’s words. Crossing his arms, he frowned and leveled him with a look. “I’m not interested in being just a good time for you. Or that fun little secret you keep ‘on the low’ till life gets back on track.”
Breck stilled, then paled. “I didn’t mean it like—”
“It doesn’t matter. Things are different now, and I’ve got no desire to keep pretending they’re not.” Breck, and everything that came with him, was just too much. There were plenty of rope models around that wouldn’t fuck with his head.
Breck’s face fell as he searched Kai’s eyes. Kai schooled his expression as best he could and held his gaze. Was it convincing, though? Could Breck sense his emotions? That distraught look on Breck’s face wasn’t helping his cause. He was miserable, too. Caught between a rock and a hard place. Stuck at a crossroads with two diverging paths.
Problem was, Kai knew which path he was choosing. And while he’d initially been optimistic, last night’s debacle felt like the final straw.
Sighing, he dropped his arms. “I need to get back to packing—”
“Wait—” Breck flicked a glance toward Tad’s bedroom, then looked back at Kai. “Tell me what to do.”
Kai eyed him, his jaw tight, but his insides tighter. “You want me, Breck? Then take me out of your closet.”
Breck groaned, the sound so dejected, and peered up at the ceiling. “Why that? You know I can’t. I’ll do anything else—”
Kai turned back toward the kitchen.
“Kai, wait—” Breck reached for his arm just as Tad’s bedroom door swung open. Breck jerked his hand back and quickly stepped away.
Sigh.
And yet, hardly a shocker.
Tad emerged with a box, his handsome face flushed, his light brown hair tousled, his t-shirt slightly askew. Scott exited behind him emanating the same post-fuck glow, his big, dark eyes sated—as they stared at Tad’s ass.
Tad spotted Breck. “Oh, hey, Harland. Didn’t know you were here.” He flicked a glance at Scott, then cleared his throat. “We were um… just packing up the bathroom… and stuff.”