Total pages in book: 57
Estimated words: 55108 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 276(@200wpm)___ 220(@250wpm)___ 184(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 55108 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 276(@200wpm)___ 220(@250wpm)___ 184(@300wpm)
“And how are you such an expert? Just last week you said you only know about one human. Yours,” I snap.
“Mine is as capricious and emotional as they come.” His voice is mild. “I’ve learned to expect the unexpected with her. She’s… complicated, my fierce sweet mate.” He shakes his head, but I can hear the happiness in his voice. “Maybe you want a mate yourself.”
“You know I do not. I don’t want to discuss it.” I power down the screen.
“It’s acceptable to change one’s mind.”
“And it should be acceptable, as well, never to do so.” I grab my satchel. “Please respect that. I must go check on… something.”
He nods. “Just keep in mind that if you’re not planning a future with her, and she’s not a suitable fit for the nav program, you owe it to her and Zandia to tell her sooner rather than later.”
“I understand.”
Veck it all. She’s not nearly good enough to be in the nav program, and I’m most definitely wasting her time and mine—and Zandia’s. But it’s true that while I’m training her, she’s under my jurisdiction. And the idea that another Zandian male might take the liberties with her that I have? It makes me so angry I could rip apart a shuttle with my bare hands or deafen a fleet of beings with my roar. No one is going to touch Zina that way.
My captain is right. I’ll cut her loose. Soon. When the time is right. Spending time and vecking Zina is enjoyable. But it’s a fleeting pleasure, one of those transient moments a being must grab before they are gone forever. I’m not the kind of Zandian who gets a chance at mating and family life.
I don’t want to hurt her, but it’s just that right now she’s giving me something I haven’t had in a long time… and something I probably won’t get in the future.
Is it so wrong to seize the experience for what it is, and damn the future?
Chapter 8
Zina
“I wish I’d never met him.”
“Who?” Abbi hands me a portion of mandarin orange segment in sweet cream.
“Tarek.” I sigh.
“What happened?” Abbi takes a bite of her fruit. “Mirelle, Cambry, over here!” She waves to a tall blonde and a red-haired human in a camo flight suits. “Come join us.” She turns to me. “Hold that thought just a sec, okay? I want to hear all about it.”
The cafe area is crowded with humans, many of whom are toting halflings. My breath catches in my throat when an especially cute little toddler with the tiniest purple horns and a sweet smile comes up and hands me a leaf from the nearby Barri tree.
“Thank you,” I tell him, entranced with his sweet tiny hands.
His mother, a tall brunette human with a satchel over her shoulder, comes running up. “This is Braxton,” she says. “The son of my mates Andre and Laun.” She smiles. “I’m Kara. you’re Zina?”
“Everyone knows who I am?” I look around.
“We all know everything,” she proclaims with a grand gesture, then laughs. “Zandia is small. Word gets around. Welcome. It’s great to have you. Another human. So glad you’re here.”
She locks eyes with me, and under her smile and her love for her son, under that fancy satchel and her casual appropriation of this planet, I can see a worn being with a difficult past. She’s got lines at the corners of her eyes, and I see something in her stance, a wariness, that I feel in my bones. Some parts of slavery are not easy to shed if you’ve lived it all your life.
“Thank you.” Words aren’t enough, so I turn to her child. “He’s so adorable.” My heart tugs with desire for what she has.
She smiles. Touches my hand. “You can have your own.” Her face is earnest. “Zandia is full of opportunities.”
“We’ll see.” I have an appointment with a doctor in a few planet rotations, where he’ll check my implants and see if he can reverse the sterility. But that’s not something I wish to discuss here and now.
Her glance strays to my leg but she doesn’t ask. “If I can do anything, just ask.” I think she really means it.
After she leaves, I want to tell Abbi about Tarek, but Mirelle and Cambry join us. At first, I’m disappointed, but the two women turn out to be fun and vivacious, and I like them until Mirelle says, “So, you’re interested in navigation? If you end up turning it into a career, I’d love to have you on my ship. We’re fighter pilots.” She gestures to herself and Cambry.
My eyes widen. “Oh, you are?” I suddenly feel very inferior and fraudulent. “That’s wonderful.” I assess her anew and see things I missed the first time: her phenomenal muscle tone; she’s lean but built like a goddess warrior. Her alert eyes, how she constantly scans the area, whether she’s talking or not. Her stance, like she’s constantly leaning forward into the wind, ready to leap at something.