Total pages in book: 92
Estimated words: 87781 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 439(@200wpm)___ 351(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87781 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 439(@200wpm)___ 351(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
Tuonen swallowed hard, knowing that the more he asked about how she died, the more she would finally realize the truth. He walked across the boat toward her, and she stiffened at his approach, a trace of fear on her brow.
He reached down and grabbed her by the elbows. Her skin was as warm as she said it was and tantalizingly soft to touch. His eyes closed briefly, taking in the feel of her, and he breathed deep, his nose filling with her floral scent, so unlike the stark white world around them. She smelled like spring, like everything he wasn’t. She was life, he was death.
He pulled her to her feet and held her in place as he peered down at her. She stared up at him with round eyes and took in a shaking breath. “How did you die, Aven?” he asked.
She worried her lip between her teeth. He wondered what she tasted like—another reason he needed her to accept her death. “I didn’t die.”
“How did you die?”
She shook her head. “No. Stop saying that. I’m alive. I’m in bed, I’m at home, I’m dreaming.”
“What did you do before you went to bed? Tell me.”
“I…I…” She trailed off, looking away in frantic thought. “I was crossing the road…”
Now they were getting somewhere. “You were crossing the road?”
The line between her brows deepened. “I was crossing the road, heading toward work,” she said in a faint voice. “There was a potential adopter coming to see one of the senior pit bulls we had, Aria. The sweetest dog. I had worked for so long to get Aria adopted, and finally, someone had seen her pictures and fallen in love. I was so happy; the poor old girl was finally going to get a home. Then…”
“Then?” he pressed, squeezing her arms lightly.
“Then I…I crossed the road. And then I was here…”
“Something happened to you in the middle. What was it?”
She swallowed audibly, tears starting to well in her eyes. “I don’t want to know,” she whispered. “I don’t want to think about it.”
He felt bad but he pressed on. “You were crossing the road. Which road?”
“Shoreditch High Street,” she said.
Then, her eyes grew wider, and tears flowed down her cheeks like a river spilling over its banks. “I was crossing the street, and I heard the horn. It came from nowhere. I remember the bus driver’s face and…”
And just like that, Aven remembered her death.
She crumbled into Tuonen’s arms, the realization overwhelming.
Tuonen was surprised at first, at the way Aven fell into him, like he was seeing the life drained out of her in that moment. But then his arms went around her, and he held her tight, feeling every emotion roll out of her and soak into him.
This had never happened before. He’d never seen any of the dead cry over their own death or at being in the afterlife. Then again, none of them fought against the very notion of their death as hard as Aven did.
“I’m dead,” she wailed, sobbing uncontrollably. “I’m dead.”
“It’s okay,” he said to her, his voice shaking slightly, unnerved by her emotion. “You will adjust quickly. Everyone does.”
“No!” she cried out into his coat. “I will not adjust. I can’t die. I can’t.” She looked up at him, the sorrow on her face breaking his heart. “My parents. My mother, my father. My friends. The dogs. I can’t leave any of them, don’t you understand? They need me. I need them. I can’t let them go. I can’t leave them in the world without me.”
“You will forget them soon,” he said. “You will probably be put in Amaranthus. That’s heaven, you know. Nirvana. That’s the place everyone wants to go, and you’re lucky enough to warrant it. In Amaranthus, you will want for nothing. You will feel no pain, no sorrow, no grief. You will be happy.”
“And what if I’m not?”
“Then that would mean you’re in Inmost, and you certainly don’t deserve that.”
She shook her head, the tears spilling. “I have so much life left. I’m only twenty-five! I’m just getting started. This can’t be the end for me, it can’t. There was so much I wanted to do. I wanted to make a difference in the world, I wanted to find my purpose…I wanted to fall in love.”
Tuonen’s chest felt tight at that admission. “I’m sorry.”
She pulled away and turned her back to him. “I will not die,” she said under her breath.
She started running down the length of the ship, and before Tuonen could reach her, she jumped over the side into the River of Shadows.
The water was shockingly cold, which was strange because Aven hadn’t felt any of the falling snow or icy temperatures until that point.
But when she sank under the dark water, it chilled her to the bone.
In some ways, it woke her up.