Total pages in book: 92
Estimated words: 87781 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 439(@200wpm)___ 351(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87781 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 439(@200wpm)___ 351(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
He doesn’t say anything to that, and when I glance over the menu at him, he looks deep in thought, his eyes seeming to change from dark silver to stormy grey as he stares at the wall.
“You’re worried about the gods,” I say, sure to keep my voice low in case someone hears us talking like religious fanatics. “You think Louhi will do something to them as well.”
He nods slowly and brings his gaze back to meet mine. “Until recently, it would have never crossed my mind. I knew that only I had the power to kill the Gods, but since Salainen proved she had the power to kill me, I don’t think any of them are safe.” He sighs, and I can see the weight on his shoulders. “I wish I knew what was happening, that there was some way to know if at least my children are safe.”
I reach across the table and place my hand on his, wishing he wasn’t wearing gloves, but knowing it’s for the best when we’re around other people. “I hate to sound corny and new-agey, but what does your heart tell you? Your heart will always know.”
He seems to think about that, or perhaps he’s wondering what new age means. “I think,” he begins slowly, “my heart is a little confused at the moment. It doesn’t feel like I have it under control.”
There is meaning in his words, a heaviness, and I can’t decipher if this is a good or bad thing.
“But,” he goes on, giving me a faint smile, “I think Lovia and Tuonen are alright. For now. As for the rest of my family, I don’t know. I have worries.”
Just then, the waitress appears at our table. I do the talking, lest Death start questioning who this woman is, since he’s never been to a restaurant before, and I get us two dark ales to get us started while we look over the menu.
“What is this?” he asks, peering at it. “This looks like what Pyry writes out when I’m having a dinner party, but I’ve never seen so many options in one night.”
The menu is very Finnish, lots of game meat and fish and hearty stews, and my stomach curls in on itself in hunger. I want to order everything, then figure I might as well. We don’t know how long it will be until our next meal. We have to plan for the fact that anything can and will happen.
I’m fairly certain I know Death’s appetite well, especially since a lot of his favorite dishes are smuggled from this world anyway, so when the waitress comes back with our beers, I order an assortment of meals, everything from reindeer and pheasant to turnip stew and a shrimp sandwich. Even if I can’t finish it all, I know he can.
“What should we cheers to?” I ask him, lifting the mug of ale.
He lifts his and stares at me deeply. For one magical, strangely wonderful moment, it feels like the two of us are out on a date, a couple still in their honeymoon period, all sparks and fire, still getting to know each other while having a basis of familiarity. A normal couple visiting the city of Helsinki during a dark winter, a couple of this world.
What would that be like?
What if, instead of finding our way back to Tuonela, we could stay here?
Why do I have to be the one to give up everything?
But guilt follows that thought.
I know why. I know he has his family. On the other hand, Lovia loves this world more than her own, and I think Tuonen would fare well here too. What if, instead of returning, we could somehow get his son and daughter out of the Underworld and into this one? If Louhi is so focused on becoming the ruler of Tuonela and retaining her status as the Goddess of Death, why shouldn’t we just let her have it?
Because she will induce Kaaos, and the afterlife will never be fair, I remind myself. But maybe there’s a point to it. Or maybe we can just join the rest of humanity who don’t know what the afterlife actually entails. Most people don’t even know there is one.
I don’t dare tell Tuoni this, though. I keep my thoughts to myself.
“We cheers to you,” he says, his voice grave. “My queen who has given up so much to be with a king she doesn’t serve.” He clinks his glass against mine.
“I serve you,” I tell him imploringly.
I love you. But the words stay hidden, as if I’m too afraid to say them again.
“No, Hanna,” he says with a soft smile in juxtaposition to his stern features. “You were bound to me by promise and obligation. If anything, I am the one serving you. At least, that’s how it should be. The dead serve me, and you are not dead. You are a living, breathing, fairy girl, half-goddess herself, the most alive creature I’ve ever held in my hands.”