Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 86162 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 431(@200wpm)___ 345(@250wpm)___ 287(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86162 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 431(@200wpm)___ 345(@250wpm)___ 287(@300wpm)
“Ugh!” she coughed and choked, waving with the menu card to try and clear the air. But this seemed to waft the putrid scent towards the Empress.
“Oh, I see you’re trying our famous chomble-hopper cheese, my dear,” she said to Abbey. “It ripens in the rind for seven times seventy-seven days before it can be consumed, you know.”
“Really? That’s…a long time,” Abbey said weakly.
“Yes, it’s a strong flavor but so rewarding—the texture is just like silk on your tongue,” the Empress told her.
There was nothing Abbey wanted less to eat than a silky, fart-flavored cheese but she did her best to sound enthusiastic when she answered.
“It sounds so good,” she said, trying to smile.
“Then you must try some! Be sure to tell the server when he comes back,” the Empress said. “Now let me see, what else is on the menu…”
Since Her Majesty was clearly preoccupied with her own menu card again, Abbey felt she could turn back to hers. She was beginning to wonder if there was anything edible on the list, but there was nothing she could do but pick another scent/taste bump and try again.
This time she decided to move down to the second row—maybe there would be better choices there.
“Spex, what’s this one?” she asked, pointing to the first bump in the second row.
“That bump says, ‘chootle-dootle-ootle-stew,’ Pretty Abbey,” Spex told her. “Will Pretty Abbey try it?”
“If I don’t, I won’t know if I should pick it or not.”
Wincing with apprehension, Abbey brought the menu card to her face again and pressed the raised button.
Another aerosol spray of scent/taste went right up her nose again and again she regretted it.
“Rotten eggs!” she gasped, waving the menu card again. “And watermelon Jolly Rancher candy!”
It was a strange and unpleasant combination of flavors and scents and Abbey didn’t like it at all.
“Are you all right, lelka?” she heard Solon rumble from her left. “Are you having difficulty finding selections you like for Last Meal?”
Abbey coughed and fanned at the awful scent.
“I just…haven’t found anything that’s quite right for me yet,” she said, aware that the Empress might hear her.
“If I may make a suggestion, I believe you’re looking at the high-end part of the menu,” Solon told her. “The heading at the top of the card says, ‘Rare Delicacies.’ Maybe you’d have better luck at the bottom part of the card which is labeled, ‘Hearty Everyday Fare.’ The chud-wump sando smells especially nice—at least to me.”
“Oh? Which bump is that?” Abbey asked. She was beginning to feel desperate and she hoped that the big Monstrum was right.
“Here, let me show you.” Solon’s big, warm hand covered hers and he led her fingers to the bottom part of the card and the correct bump. “Try that one,” he told her. “It reminded me of a delicacy I had while visiting Earth called a ‘roast beast sandwich.’”
“Do you mean ‘roast beef?’” Abbey asked, laughing.
“Possibly.” His golden blur made a motion she had learned meant he was shrugging his shoulders. “Whatever it was called, I found it delicious. Try it.”
Feeling slightly encouraged, Abbey raised the menu card to her nose again. This time the aerosol-like spray that went up her nose and into her mouth wasn’t bad at all. In fact, it was rather good.
“Mmm—I can smell fresh baked bread… and rare roast beef… and some kind of spicy mustard,” she remarked. “And some spice I can’t name, but it smells delicious!”
“That’s the one to choose then,” Solon remarked. “But don’t give up—I believe you’re allowed as many selections as you want. You should try a few of the other bumps as well.”
Abbey wasn’t eager to get sprayed in the face by something nasty again, but she reluctantly tried a few more of the Hearty Fare scent/taste bumps. She got one that smelled like road-kill and another that was reminiscent of skunk spray—the Tengulans certainly seemed to like strong smelling foods! But she also got a bump that sprayed a scent that was almost like fresh French fries with a kind of citrus twist and another that reminded her of French Onion Soup.
When the waiters finally returned, Abbey was ready with her order.
“I’ll have the chud-wump sando, the molly-golly-gooten-tot, and the gargen-heimer,” she told him. She didn’t order the fart-flavored cheese and was relieved when the Empress didn’t say anything about it.
“Very well, Lady Abbey—your dishes will be out shortly,” the server promised. He whisked away the menu card but Abbey called,
“Wait! Can I keep that?”
“Oh, good idea, my dear,” she heard the Empress say. “You might want seconds. Or if you’d like any of tonight’s dishes brought to your room later, for a little snack, you have only to call the Royal Kitchen on the com system and ask.”
“Thank you,” Abbey said, smiling. Actually, she wanted the menu card for a souvenir. She could just imagine her friends’ reaction to the different scents and smells if she brought it to her high school reunion.