Total pages in book: 108
Estimated words: 103721 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 519(@200wpm)___ 415(@250wpm)___ 346(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 103721 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 519(@200wpm)___ 415(@250wpm)___ 346(@300wpm)
“It can wait,” she insists, but I shake my head. “Really, I’m tired.”
“Cameron.” She inhales sharply and then lets it out with a whoosh. She looks down at my lips, so I reach for her chin, tipping it back so I can see those eyes of hers. “My love, look at me.”
Her lips press into a straight line, and I can see the war in her brown depths. She opens her mouth to speak, but nothing comes out, so she shuts it, her eyes burning deeply into mine. I reach up, running my thumb along her jaw. “Cameron.”
“I’m trying—”
“I love you.”
I’m surprised I said that as calmly as I did. Cameron must not realize how hard that was for me, because pure shock fills her features. Her jaw goes slack, hanging open as her eyes stay locked with mine. A flush fills her cheeks as her eyes widen, but no words leave her lips. Silence stretches between us, and each second she doesn’t say it back fucks with my ego. She licks her lips, and in the smallest of voices, she asks, “Are you sure?”
I bring in my brows. “Damn sure. Why do you ask?”
She sits up then, and I do the same so that we’re facing each other. “I saw you with the boys today. You were meant to be a dad, Benson. I took that from you.”
You’ve got to be kidding me. I let my head fall back and groan loudly as she continues to talk. “I saw you with them, and then you say you want to fill me with come, which means getting me pregnant, but I took a child—”
“For fuck’s sake, Cam. Please, eh?” I ask, bringing my gaze to hers. “You didn’t take anything from me. Not a damn thing but your heart. I don’t think of what we did as a loss or even a mistake. Baby, we made a choice not to bring a kid into the world when we both knew we weren’t ready. I’ve told you before, I admire you for your choice. For being so fucking strong. But please, baby—please listen to me.”
“But how can you love someone who did that to you?”
“We did it together!” I yell, losing my patience. I breathe in deeply, unsure how to make her see the truth. “We made that baby, you chose not to have it, and I agreed. I went with you, did what you wanted because, guess what, I love you, and you were absolutely correct in your choice.” Her eyes widen before she looks away, breathing in through her nose and then letting it out. “You’ve got to let this go because, Cam—” I reach for her chin, tipping it back to meet my heated gaze “—I loved you through all that, and I love you now.”
“I’m a mess. Like, a walking train wreck,” she whispers, almost as if she’s trying to talk me out of loving her.
I smile. “Call me your conductor because there is no way I’m derailing what we have. I’m in this for the long haul, my beauty.”
“But—”
“No but, Cameron. I don’t know how you can look at me and not see that I’m totally in love with you.” She swallows as she presses her lips tightly together, but thankfully, her eyes don’t leave mine. “Do you not want me to love you?”
Her eyes widen, and I instantly regret that question.
Why did I ask that?
Chapter Forty-One
Cameron
His question rocks me to my core.
Do you not want me to love you?
It’s a loaded question, but nothing touches the three words that left his lips with no hesitation. Not once, not even twice, but many times. And each time, it’s directed just to me. He loves me. Benson loves me. Even back then, he did, and all I can do is gawk at him. I almost say that I’m not worthy of his love, but his eyes convince me otherwise. As if I am worthy, as if he does love me.
“Of course I do,” I say in a small, pathetic voice as I thread my fingers with his.
“Then what is the issue?”
“Me. I’m the fucking issue,” I say, my voice getting louder as I bring my gaze back to his. “I will sit here and convince myself you regret our choice, that you blame me, and that you could never love me.”
His eyes burn into mine before he lets go of my hands and takes my face between his palms. He stares deep into my eyes, bringing me to him until our noses press together. “Then let me be there to reassure you.”
“What?”
“It’s pretty simple, Cam. If you start to try to convince yourself of those things, come to me, tell me, so I can remind you of the truth. Look at me, look into my eyes, and see how much I fucking adore you. How much I admire your strength, your resilience, your talent. Everything about you makes me so unbelievably happy, I swear things can’t get better. No one else makes me feel the way you do. Only you, my love. Trust me, believe me, and let me remind you at every turn, eh?”