Total pages in book: 77
Estimated words: 77398 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 387(@200wpm)___ 310(@250wpm)___ 258(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77398 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 387(@200wpm)___ 310(@250wpm)___ 258(@300wpm)
“Did you give her anything for the pain?”
“No, I told you she wasn’t this bad until she woke up from her nap about thirty minutes ago.”
With a small beep in her ear, I checked her temperature first.
103.1
“It’s not unusual for babies to run high fevers,” I told them, feeling their emotions running high.
Though it wasn’t easy to hear through her wails, I listened to her lungs and heart and then checked her ears for fluid. As soon as the plastic tip hit her ear canal she screamed bloody murder.
“Ah, there’s one of the causes.” Looking over at Jagger, I instructed, “In the medicine cabinet in the hall bathroom, there’s baby Motrin—”
He turned and left before I even finished my instructions.
“Da!”
“Almost done, baby. Daddy just has to check your eyes and your throat. Can you be a good girl for me?”
She fussed the entire time until finally, my examination was over.
We spent the next five minutes forcing medicine in her mouth and down her throat. She kept spitting it out.
She wouldn’t go to Camila for anything, only wanting me as I called in her antibiotic for her double ear infection. Holding a cold pack on the back of her neck, I cooled her down while I was on the phone with the pharmacy.
Judging by the solemn expression on Cami’s face, she was still blaming herself.
“Babies get sick,” I simply stated, locking eyes with her.
“She hates me.”
“Da,” Journey sniffled, squeezing me tighter.
“No, she doesn’t hate you.”
“Yes, she does. She won’t even look at me.”
I sighed, taking a deep breath.
The truth was, even if Journey wanted to go to Camila, I wouldn’t have let her go. I held her in my arms, slowly rocking her back and forth. Pacing the nursery.
Nothing.
No one.
Could have taken my baby girl away from me in that moment. It was the first time in over ten months I felt her weight in my arms.
Her heart against my chest.
Her breathing on my neck.
Hating myself a little more for waiting this long to hold her.
She felt like everything I ever wanted.
Remembering, there was a time…
She was.
<>Camila<>
Journey finally passed out on her father’s chest while we were all in the living room. Jagger was sleeping by his side, laid out across the sofa.
Jackson was with me, his head on my lap. We were on the couch across from them and I spent the last hour scratching his head. He must have fallen asleep as well because he started lightly snoring.
“I don’t think I’m cut out for nursing school.” Feeling that admission deep in my bones, I continued, “I freaked out, Aiden. All my studies were out the door the second I held her burning body against mine. I panicked, and I made it worse for her. I’m going to be the worst nurse and mom.”
“Cami, look at me.”
I shook my head, strictly staring at the side of Jackson’s face.
I was so ashamed and embarrassed. I wouldn’t blame him if he fired me. Journey wasn’t mine, it was irresponsible of me to assume I could take care of her in that way.
She needed her father.
A doctor.
Not the nanny.
Not me.
I should have known better.
Dr. Pierce repeated in a hard, demanding tone, “Cami, look at me.”
I exhaled, giving in. Slowly raising my eyes, I peered up at him through my wet lashes.
“You’re going to be—” he paused, gathering his thoughts. “You are the most amazing, loving mother to all my kids.”
My eyes widened, shocked he just expressed that to me.
“I couldn’t have asked for a better woman to come into their lives. To come into our lives. To come into my life. You are exactly what we all needed. Do you understand me?”
I nodded, unable to put into words what he was making me feel.
“My kids love you. They fuckin’ adore you. We’re lucky to have you, Cami. You’ve brought so much love, so much laughter, so much calm into our house. Sweetheart, you’re the reason it’s starting to feel like a home again.”
I bit my lip to keep from crying.
“Tell me you believe what I’m saying.”
I nodded again.
“Tell me, Cami. I need to hear you say it.”
“I do. I believe you.”
His eyes went lax as he gazed down at the beautiful baby girl on his chest.
It was such a breathtaking sight.
A man holding his baby the way he was embracing her.
She was his whole world.
They all were.
“You know you’ve never once judged me for not holding Journey. You’ve never once made me feel like the piece-of-shit father I was. You never once did anything but try to be here for them when I wasn’t. I’ll never be able to thank you enough for that. The role you’ve played in their lives means more to me than you’ll ever know, Cami.”
Our eyes connected and that goddamn spark was right there. Right in front of us. Breathing air into our lungs.