Total pages in book: 65
Estimated words: 64617 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 323(@200wpm)___ 258(@250wpm)___ 215(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 64617 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 323(@200wpm)___ 258(@250wpm)___ 215(@300wpm)
“Baby, as much as I love you … you can’t come with me.”
“Why not? I wanna go to Heaven with you, Momma. Just take me with you … please…” I bawled, feeling like my heart was exploding in my body like the fireworks on the Fourth of July. Except this wasn’t fun.
I couldn’t control my tears, and I didn’t want to. She had to understand I needed to go with her.
She couldn’t leave me behind.
I’d be all by myself with no one to love me.
“I promise I’ll take care of you in Heaven, Momma. I’ll be your Little Man anywhere we go. As long as we stick together, everything will be fine. You and me against the world, remember?”
She caressed my cheek. “You can’t come with me, baby.”
I pulled away suddenly angry, snapping, “You can’t leave me, Momma! That’s not what mommas do! You said that at the park! You said mommas don’t leave like dads do! That’s what you said! Remember? That’s what you told me!”
“Aiden, please calm down.”
“No! You can’t leave me! It’s you and me against the world! That’s what you’ve always said to me! Remember?! That’s what you’ve always said!”
“I will never leave you,” she choked out, coughing over and over again.
I threw my arms around her neck, holding onto her as tight as I could. Showing her, she wasn’t leaving me. I wouldn’t let her, she’d just have to take me with her.
Momma, you’re all I have.
You’re all I’ve ever had.
Her breathing came out in quick, short puffs, like she couldn’t catch her breath. Whispering, “I will always…” she gasped for air. “Be here for you… Just because.” She started coughing, gasping for more and more air. “You can’t … see me, doesn’t mean … I’m not here.”
“It’s not fair. It’s not fair that this is happening,” I rasped, fresh tears soaking her green hospital gown. Struggling for my next breath, I asked, “Who’s going to tell you everything is going to be okay, Momma? Who’s going to tell me? Who’s going to cover my eyes during the scary parts of movies? Who’s going to tell me they love me? I don’t have a daddy! Or an aunt or a grandma! I don’t have anyone but you! Who’s going to help me back to sleep when I have a bad dream? Who’s going to be there for me when I get home from school? Who, Momma, who if not you? Don’t you see? Don’t you get it? You’re all I have! You’re all I’ve ever had! There’s no one else but you! So either you take me with you, or you stay with me! You stay with me, Momma, because that’s what you said, that’s what you promised! Mommas don’t leave! You have to remember! Please, you have to stay with me!”
My body fell onto hers. Crying for what seemed like hours, just lying there. She tried everything to calm me down. Weakly humming “Smile”, like she had since the day I was born.
Smile, though your heart is aching.
Nothing could make me smile, laugh, or be happy. I’d be nothing without her.
Nothing.
“Everything is going to be okay, baby.” She rubbed my back, holding me close, as close as possible. “I love you more than anything in this world. I have loved you since before I even met you, my beautiful boy. With those bright blue eyes that have always been able to see inside my soul. What we share, the love, the bond, the connection between us … it can never be broken, Aiden. No matter where I am, no matter who you’re with, we’re together in here.” She placed her hand over my fast-beating heart. “You’ll find someone who will always be there for you.”
“I will?”
“Yes, I swear it.”
“How do you know?”
“Because, Aiden. I’ll personally send her your way. I promise.”
All I could do was nod because I couldn’t find the words to tell her how much I loved her.
How much I needed her.
How sad and alone I would be without her.
What’s going to happen to me?
It wasn’t until she placed her hands on the sides of my face that it felt like I was dying too. “Listen to me, Aiden Hazel Pierce, because I will only be able to say this once. I need you to remember you can be anything you want to be. Do you hear me? You do not let what happens next in your life define who you are. Do you understand me? You make your own path, baby. Your own path and bright future that I know you’re capable of. I need you to promise me you will do something amazing in this world. You will make something of yourself that will have me so damn proud of the man you’ve become. Because I’ll be right here, baby.” She nodded to my heart. “Watching, listening, cheering for you until the day we can be reunited again. I’ll be waiting for you with open arms, my beautiful boy. Now prom—”