Total pages in book: 106
Estimated words: 99949 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 99949 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
I could feel the tears stinging the backs of my eyes because I knew in my gut Lincoln was telling me the truth. He did love me. He did need me.
“Theo, look at me,” Lincoln demanded. I didn’t even realize I’d looked down at the ground until he ordered me to lift my eyes.
I did.
“I will love you no matter what you tell me. I will love you if you decide you never want to tell me anything. I will love you if you believe you aren’t good enough for me. I will love you if you walk away from me. I will love you every day for the rest of my days whether you choose to build a life with me or not. I’m sorry, sweetheart, but you don’t get a say in that. And even if you don’t feel the way I do, I’m always here for you. To listen, to hold you, to fight beside you, to stand in front of you… friends first. Friends always.”
“I…” I whispered as I shook my head because I just couldn’t believe the passion behind everything he said. He meant every word.
Lincoln’s face fell and he shifted back, releasing me from the gentle prison of his arms. I felt the loss immediately.
“Come on, let’s get you back to the house. It’s getting late.”
The politeness of his words pissed me off. I shoved him hard. “Are you fucking kidding me?” I snapped, not caring if I was drawing attention to us or not. “You say all that shit to me in the middle of a parking lot of a custard stand with two huge-ass cherry-topped boobs and then you offer to drive me home and that’s it?” I shoved him again, but this time Lincoln was ready for it and braced himself so that he was able to stay exactly where he was. He grabbed my arms and held me against his body.
His heat and the gentle way he was holding on to me had me quieting. “I can’t give you what you deserve, Lincoln,” I admitted. He had to force my eyes up again because all the anger and passion had drained out of me in an instant only to be replaced with despair.
“Theo, I meant what I said. If you don’t feel the same way—”
“I’m not talking about that. I… I didn’t know what it meant to be in love. I’d read about it, but I’d never felt it. But I get it now. Cam and Ford, Lenny and Walter…” I shook my head. “I get it now. I do love you like that, Lincoln. The kind of love that lasts forever, whether you’re apart for decades like Walter and Lenny were or you’re lucky enough to find it right in front of you like Cam and Ford. I love you so much it feels like I can’t breathe when you’re not around. But I can’t give you what you deserve,” I repeated, wishing my words were enough to convince him that I did love him.
“Tell me why,” Lincoln demanded.
I closed my eyes because I couldn’t drop them since he still had a hold of my chin. I could feel the tears sliding down my cheeks as the shame consumed me.
“Because they took everything from me in that place… everything.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
LINCOLN
He’d refused to say another word to me after that. Even now as I lay alone in bed, I could still envision the despair that was consuming him. I had a pretty good idea of what he’d meant when he’d said the fuckers who’d tried to change him had taken everything from him, but I needed him to say the words. And for whatever reason, he still couldn’t do it.
It would be an obstacle in our relationship for sure, but whether he believed it or not, Theo was mine now and nothing—abso-fucking-lutely nothing—would change that.
Ever.
After his admission, he’d tugged free of my hold and quietly walked to the passenger side of the car.
I hadn’t been lying when I’d said I’d waited in the driveway for him to return that morning. When he hadn’t, I’d gone into extreme panic mode and had run back up to the house to borrow a phone since Theo had taken mine. I’d thanked whatever deity had urged me to buy a new car with all the bells and whistles even though I typically just drove boring, older cars. The luxury sedan had come with the ability to link to an app that would provide information on the car, including where it was located. Although I’d recognized the address, I’d waited several minutes so I could refresh the app and see if his location changed.
It hadn’t.
Not for the first hour.
Not during the second one either.
It had taken every ounce of willpower for me not to go to him right away. The fact that he’d gone to Double D’s and stayed there had given me some insight into his thinking. At first, I’d assumed he’d just panicked because of what had happened with Sawyer’s ex, Marcus. But as hour after hour had passed and the car hadn’t moved, I’d started to think differently. Yes, he could have easily left the car at Double D’s and then walked away and disappeared, but my gut hadn’t been on that track.