Total pages in book: 106
Estimated words: 99949 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 99949 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
“Lincoln?”
The sound of Theo’s quiet voice and the tightening of his hand brought me back to the present. I looked over to see that Nacho was gone.
“A sound scared him off,” Theo said before I could ask. “We should head back. Everyone will be having breakfast soon.”
I nodded and climbed to my feet before pulling Theo to his.
“Are you okay?” he asked as he watched me in confusion.
I didn’t blame him. I was feeling rattled because all the little decisions that had led me to come to Pelican Bay and take on Walter’s care were running through my head. I rarely did one-on-one care anymore, preferring to work in hospice care settings where there were support staff, rotating shifts, and my own quiet apartment to return to every night. Yet when the agency that hooked me up with different nursing homes and palliative care units had called and told me about a live-in job in a tiny no-nothing of a town that saw more snow in a year than I had in my entire life, I hadn’t said no right away. I’d listened as the coordinator at the agency had explained that the family in need were having a tough time keeping a live-in nurse to care for an elderly patient with several medical issues. The job paid less than I normally made, I hadn’t seen the house or room I’d be living in, I hadn’t had a clue about the town itself, and I hadn’t met or even talked to the patient or family.
Yet I’d said yes.
I’d had every reason to say no but before I’d been able to speak the word, this weird feeling of rightness had settled over me like a comforting blanket.
And now here I was. What if that moment that I couldn’t truly explain had been something… more? Was it so unreasonable to believe there’d been some force out there that had given me a gentle nudge toward the tiny little town, chaotic family of men, and crotchety old patient? And ultimately to Theo?
“Lincoln?” Theo called again.
Shit, how long had we just been standing there, me lost in thought and Theo wondering where the hell I’d gone?
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked.
I smiled. “I’m great,” I said. I probably looked like an idiot, but I didn’t care.
“I’ll tell you about it later,” I said to Theo, but instead of dropping his hand as I began the trek through the woods, I listened to my little brother telling me to fuck that shit about the trees slowing us down if I held Theo’s hand.
I let out a soft laugh as I realized I’d spent years trying not to hear my brother’s voice in my ear but there it was, loud and clear, and I knew it my gut it was here to stay.
And if that wasn’t a miracle in itself, I didn’t know what was.
CHAPTER TWENTY
THEO
I was riding a natural high like I’d never known as Lincoln and I walked back to the house hand in hand. I knew we’d need to separate by the time we reached the house, but it felt like every cell in my body was rejecting the idea. Would it really be such a bad thing for anyone who might be outside to see me and Lincoln holding hands?
And when they ask if you two are seeing each other?
The ugly little voice in my head had me abruptly stopping. I hadn’t heard that damn voice even once since Lincoln had found my shivering, fully clothed body in the shower two days earlier.
I cursed its re-emergence at the same time that I welcomed it. I couldn’t get used to this.
Not to holding Lincoln’s hand.
Not to reveling in a stray dog giving me his trust even though I hadn’t done anything to earn it.
Not to being excited to join a group of men for what would be yet another loud, raucous, ridiculously hysterical meal.
I was leaving in less than two weeks. I wasn’t a part of the family of men who’d welcomed me into their home. Even though I now knew I wanted it, I couldn’t have a future with Lincoln.
Not wouldn’t. Couldn’t.
Lincoln still knew nothing about the real me and the things I’d done. If he did, he’d be horrified. He’d be disgusted. He’d never look at me the same way again. He’d never touch me or make me laugh or just sit by my side to watch something as simple as the sun rising.
Two weeks.
I’d never make it that long. Not with how my friendship with Lincoln was going.
I wanted him.
Badly.
But every time my body reacted to his, which was pretty much all the time, it was like there were two of me. My body was doing all the right things physically when it came to my need for Lincoln, but my brain wasn’t in agreement at all. The jolts of physical pain weren’t as bad as they’d been the night Lincoln had kissed me, but they were still there. It took every ounce of power I had to ignore those jolts when I touched Lincoln in any kind of way, even the nonsexual ones. It was a constant battle going on within my own body but so far, I must have managed to behave normally on the outside or surely Lincoln would have said something.