Total pages in book: 152
Estimated words: 149982 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 750(@200wpm)___ 600(@250wpm)___ 500(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 149982 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 750(@200wpm)___ 600(@250wpm)___ 500(@300wpm)
Must be why he answered the paparazzi too honestly and not jokingly. Farrow whispers something softly, his hand on the back of Maximoff’s skull, and then their lips meet in a tender kiss.
A pang thumps against my chest.
I’m not a bitter guy, and I hate wading in these shitty emotions for even half-a-second.
I’m about 99% positive it’s what Charlie has felt ever since Maximoff got a boyfriend. Seeing the cousin he hates receive the love he wants has caused more jealousy. But I’m not a twenty-one-year-old genius who can’t control my base impulses. And I never want to be bitter at the sight of someone else’s happiness or love. Especially a friend’s.
I look around the gym.
And I just wish Charlie were next to me so Highland would be here too. I’d turn my head and see his focus behind a camera. He’d notice me and smile that hundred-watt smile, and maybe he’d even redirect his lens my way.
“Oliveira,” Farrow says, snapping me out of a bad daze.
“Yeah?”
Our heads turn when Ripley drops his stuffed pirate parrot. I pick up the toy that I bought him and rattle it. “No doubt, you love Uncle Oscar the best.”
Ripley hugs onto the toy with a giggle. He’s a cute baby.
“Thanks,” Maximoff says to me, his sincerity soulful. “You know where my brother might’ve left his phone?”
My brows knot. “Xander left his phone at the gym?”
Farrow explains, “After a boxing lesson this morning. I didn’t want to announce that shit over comms.” Yeah because Donnelly would be reamed out by the boss for that security mistake. Xander Hale is his client, and a missing phone is a heartbeat from a security leak.
Donnelly isn’t usually that careless.
“I haven’t seen it,” I tell them, “but I’d check the lockers.”
Holding Ripley, Maximoff leaves the mats and searches the wall of lockers.
Farrow sticks around me. “You okay?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“You tell me,” he says, concern in his pierced brows.
All I’ve really expressed lately to Farrow is that Jack and I are better. We’re cool. No more awkwardness. Pretty true. But I can’t explain anything further without telling him Jack’s not straight.
I already promised I wouldn’t do that to Jack.
“I’m good,” I nod a few times. “When’s the Out Loud magazine photoshoot? I heard it’s soon.”
“Next week.” He skims my eyes.
I hang onto a feeling I love.
Pride.
I’m proud of my best friend for agreeing to be on the cover of Out Loud. It took him a while to say yes. And now here I am, unable to talk about the guy I’m kissing and falling for.
Unable to even hug him in public.
I don’t love it, but I have to be okay with it.
For me, pride is best felt embracing the people I love. And I just wish I could embrace Highland.
I’m so fucking far gone.
I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore. I wish I could ask Farrow for advice. He’s the “relationship guy”—the one who establishes boundaries up front before hopping into bed. He won’t even sleep with someone unless there is potential for an actual relationship.
And look at me with this flimsy “no sex” declaration. I already jumped way past first base with the guy.
Don’t beat yourself up, Oliveira.
I exhale a rougher breath.
Jack is complicated. He started off questioning. This was never going to be simple. And I want to believe that he’s willing to be in a relationship, but it can’t be easy for him to rewrite the story he envisioned for so long.
He’s used to sticking to his life’s script. And that’s it.
“You still want to do Woody’s for dinner?” Farrow asks me, thankfully not giving me a hard time even though he can tell something’s up. “Donnelly said he’d meet us.”
“Yeah, for sure.” I’m too in my feelings, so I focus on downing the rest of the Cheeto dust, and I tell Gabe to go home.
The trainee ends the run with sweat streaming down his jaw. “Really?” he pants, out of breath. “I can go another ten.”
I take it back. Tweedledum isn’t so bad.
“Go home,” I say again. “I’ll see you again tomorrow morning.” I’m squeezing in a comms lesson before the start of the day.
“Thanks, Oscar.” He heads towards the showers.
“He’s huge,” Farrow says.
“But fast.”
Farrow whistles and looks back at Gabe “No shit.”
Maximoff makes a face at Farrow like he just cat-called another guy.
I laugh.
“Shit,” Farrow says between his teeth, but he’s smiling. They’re both territorial motherfuckers.
I elbow his arm. “Wanna bet that Kitsuwon’s going to fight over the temp for Sulli’s detail?” Akara always puts the best temps on her whenever Banks is unavailable.
“No. Because I don’t want to lose a bet.”
Smart, Redford.
“Found it!” Maximoff calls out, showing us his brother’s phone. Ripley reaches up for the cell.
Before we leave the gym, Farrow says to me, “We have to drop off the phone, and then we’re grabbing the furball before we head out to Woody’s.” The furball is their weird Newfoundland puppy. Arkham thinks a pint-sized bird is a pterodactyl.