Total pages in book: 152
Estimated words: 149982 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 750(@200wpm)___ 600(@250wpm)___ 500(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 149982 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 750(@200wpm)___ 600(@250wpm)___ 500(@300wpm)
So I go ahead and speak. “I didn’t have any LGBT friends in high school, so I looked up a lot online. My dad walked in on me searching the web for How to Douche for Idiots. Literally the title.”
Farrow laughs, which lets the younger ones like Tom and Kinney feel free to laugh. I’m glad. It’s a hilarious story as an adult, but damn was I mortified to hell as a teenager.
Jack smiles at me, but it fades too fast. And he rests a cement-block hand on my thigh. Trying to be cool, but I’m too perceptive to trick.
With the quick raise of two fingers, Farrow is next. “The idea of being a part of a clique is not my favorite thing. And being honest, this has always seemed like a clique.” He tilts his head. “Technically, it still is. But I don’t mind this little club. It’s not half-bad.”
I slow-clap. “That was weak sauce.”
“Because you can’t stomach hot sauce without shitting yourself.”
I start to laugh, then mockingly cover Jack’s ears. “Not in front of meu raio de sol.”
Everyone laughs again, but Jack’s fades into a sadder smile on me, like he’s apologizing already.
What’s wrong?
I drop my hands, about to excuse ourselves, but Kinney scoots forward.
Her turn. “Nothing I do to Tye Smith will help what I feel because all I wish is that I said or did something more in the moment.”
“You think I always know what to say?” Maximoff tells his sister.
“You were in shock,” Farrow chimes in.
Tom nods. “I’ve never seen a vagina in my life, and I still know I’m gay. What he did was wrong.”
“Elephant in the room,” I cut in, “he could be dropping his pants and pressuring other girls to touch his dick. What he did should meet some sort of school punishment, at the least.”
She pokes a spoon in chocolate chip cookie dough. “I’m thinking about it.” Her eyes flit to the last person who needs to share.
Everyone focuses on Jack.
He exhales a bigger breath, staring more at the Rainbow Brigade button. “I was scared to come here as part of the club. I thought I’d feel…” He shrugs. “Like a poser. You’ve all made sense of your sexuality so much sooner, and I feel like I lose some credibility by coming in late.”
“You don’t,” Maximoff says strongly.
“Oscar kept telling me that too,” Jack nods, his eyes on me with a loving, emotional look. And I remember the start of his journey, where he asked for my help. I didn’t know if I’d be the right person for him, but I said I’d try.
I hold the back of his head, our foreheads pressed together in an intimate beat. My hand slides to his neck, and he says, “Kinney gave me the button, and I was surprised at how much I felt like I belonged.” He inhales. “That’s it.”
Then why are you more tense now, Highland?
I hesitate to call him out in front of everyone. Luckily, I don’t have to.
Jack turns more to me. “Can I have a minute alone with you?” To everyone, he says, “It’s not about the Rainbow Brigade. I just need to talk with Oscar.”
I nod. “Yeah, let’s go.”
Before I scoot, Farrow stands up on the other side. “You two stay.”
Maximoff slips out next. “We’re gonna watch a TV show upstairs in the loft before we leave.”
The booth clears in under a minute. They leave the candles, the half-emptied root beers, and melting ice cream pints.
Rocky Road is sticky on my fingers. I try to wipe off my hands, but I’m really just eyeing Highland at this point. Confused as fuck, worried. Concerned. “What is it?” I ask.
He grimaces. “Don’t hate me. Promise you won’t hate me, dude.”
Now I’m terrified. But my lovesick ass says, “I promise I won’t hate you.”
He runs his hands through his hair, keeps his palms on his head. “It’s…”
“You’re drawing this out and making this ten-times worse than it probably is.” My heart is stuck in my throat like a boulder.
He cracks a pained smile. “I should’ve told you so much sooner. I had so many opportunities—and again, I missed them. Let them slip by, and now it feels like an actual conscious secret. Fuck, it is conscious.”
Blood has drained from my face.
I think I’m near tears.
Motherfuck.
“What is it?” I ask again.
He cheated on me.
He doesn’t actually love me.
He doesn’t want to be with me long-term.
He’s married to a woman.
He has a baby.
“I’m rich,” he says.
It knocks me back for no other reason than it being tame. I just rode a fucking merry-go-round at a hundred miles per hour and jumped off. I’m gonna puke.
Legitimately.
“Oscar?”
“Oh my God, Highland.” I lean forward again. “Don’t ever do that to me again.”
His lips falter. “You don’t understand, Os.”
I groan out the rest of my heightened pulse in the palms of my hand. Feeling better, I look over at my boyfriend. “I understand that you’re rich.”