Total pages in book: 142
Estimated words: 132031 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 660(@200wpm)___ 528(@250wpm)___ 440(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 132031 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 660(@200wpm)___ 528(@250wpm)___ 440(@300wpm)
Keyes’s unguarded explanation touched something inside Dev.
The heady thoughts had him finally letting go of a jaw-cracking yawn that lasted several long seconds in both size and duration.
It spoke of a tired that was years in the making.
He’d spent ten hours hunched over back-to-back clients today, working nonstop.
Tomorrow was going to be another long day.
“My brain’s fuckin’ racin’ again. It’s speedin’ up to a thousand thoughts a minute. It makes everything harder for me, but you know I get what you’re sayin’. We’ve been fucked up since birth, and this club’s at the root of the problem.”
Keyes interrupted him before he could get on a roll. “Be careful self-medicatin’. The shit you do’s addictin’ as hell. You know I’m always here for you.”
“I got you too, bro, but I need a fuckin’ bump,” Dev said, scrubbing a hand down his face.
“So, you’re back on?” Keyes asked. Nothing else mattered to his friend as much as Dev’s mental health and possibly downward spiraling addiction. Keyes didn’t get it, though. He never had. Methamphetamines sped Keyes up too much. But it was like a nectar from the gods for Dev.
Rampant sex had been his serious addiction, requiring actual restraint to master. And that bitch called him back time and again, pulling him in. Meth? He could put that shit down on a whim and not touch it again. For Dev, meth gave him focus.
“No, not back on yet. I have it sittin’ there waitin’ though. I gotta get out of my head if it’s nothin’ more than for a few hours.”
And there was his bottom line.
“You need to go to the head doctor,” Keyes said, like a broken record. “They have real medicines to slow your shit down. Help you out without destroyin’ your fuckin’ body, like I keep sayin’.”
“You need to go to the head doctor,” Dev shot back. Keyes was a different kind of fucked-up than Dev but still very screwed in the head.
“No doubt I do,” Keyes answered with a bark. An exasperated hiss escaped, showing his buddy’s disgust.
Two could play the game of how crazy the other was living their life.
“Wanna talk about the reason for that particular tattoo?”
“Fuck no, I don’t,” Keyes replied in a bluster, as if that were now the stupidest thing Dev had ever said. “If I wanted to talk about it, I would have said somethin’ durin’ the last two hours we sat together to set the design.”
Exactly the comic relief Dev needed.
He barked out a laugh and leaned his head against the headrest, letting levity have the moment. Based on the firm set of Keyes’s jaw and the tic double-timing there, he didn’t see the humor but also didn’t say anything more.
“I know I gotta figure out my head,” Dev finally agreed. “Tena’s not doin’ too good. She can’t handle the burbs but the bigger problem is she doesn’t wanna be a mother every day. She needs a better partner.”
“Why’d you put ’em all so far out?”
Dev rolled his head against the headrest, turning from Keyes to look out the windshield. “I don’t know. I got this feelin’ I can’t place, but I think the real reason is that I want the girls to have a more normal life.”
“Hmm,” Keyes said in agreement.
“I go stay out there three or four nights a week. I take ’em to school on my days. I figured halftime could give Tena time to herself. I also got ’em a full-time nanny. Like she teaches them manners and how to eat with all the different forks and spoons. My mom loves her. And the chick wants to be called Nanny. Isn’t that some shit?”
“Hmm,” Keyes said again, this time softer with more hints of approval.
“The school they go to is cool. Like really normal. Tena’s bein’ a bitch on purpose. I got an earful this mornin’ when I dropped ’em off. Tena picked ’em up from school the day before wearin’ one of her slutty tank tops, no bra. They could see everything. She’s so fuckin’ proud of her body and tits. They wanted to call CPS on us. It wouldn’t be good if they did. She’s strung out hard. Spendin’ too much money on everything.” Dev swiveled his head back to Keyes. “It’s why I haven’t used. Tryin’ to be basic for the girls. They don’t know Tena’s a hooker. Don’t think they need to know, right?”
Keyes paused then nodded. “I don’t know how to parent, but it sounds like you’re doin’ all the right shit. At least you’re tryin’. What about Holly?”
Dev gave a humorless laugh. He hadn’t told Keyes the truth about Holly either. “I think she’s more a transition piece. She’s a closeted speed freak. Like Tena just in a more normal package. I finally figured out she wanted me for my connections. Got me to bring her all sorts of shit. Just like Tena.”