Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 78598 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 393(@200wpm)___ 314(@250wpm)___ 262(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 78598 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 393(@200wpm)___ 314(@250wpm)___ 262(@300wpm)
“We came back here instead, but I get the feeling you’d rather be anywhere else than with me.” I turned to him. “Do you want to search for Cairo without me? It’s okay. I’ll stay here and get started writing down everything I remember about—”
“I’m not letting you out of my sight.”
An entire barrier of wood and stone separated us. Jacques stood in the kitchen, enigmatic eyes watching me from the other side of the island.
“Okay,” I said softly. Slowly, I moved toward him. “I’m glad actually. Of course I’m worried about Cairo, but this gives us a chance to talk. Just the two of us.”
“We have nothing to talk about.”
“That’s not true. You forget, Jacques, how well I know you.”
His eyes flashed. “But I don’t know you. I never did.”
I paused for a second, choosing my words carefully. “I don’t know that you did even when I thought I was Rainey. Things happened so quickly between the six of us. Our connection was so strong that we fell hard and fast into obsession. The thing with that is obsession always gets a smack in the face when life gets real.”
“Real,” he repeated like the sound tasted strange on his tongue. “How are any of us to know what’s real, de Souza? A few days ago, you didn’t know yourself.”
My nails pierced my palm. “I had hoped you of all people wouldn’t hold that against me.”
“I don’t— I’m trying not to!” Jacques’s fist smashed the countertop. “But she’s gone! I told her not to leave, and she did!”
I blew back, eyes huge. I only heard Jacques yell once in all the time we’d been together, and that night his mother was poisoned.
“Don’t tell me I didn’t know her. Rainey spent her time researching and cooking healthy meals for me. She traded expensive clothes for used sneakers and sweatshirts. Her favorite shampoos smelled of fruit. She loved a ridiculous, implausible show about a time-traveling alien. Nothing scares her other than losing the people she cares about. She’d walk into any dangerous situation.”
He barked a laugh. “She lived with us after framing the Bedlam Boys for murder. We were never beasts, monsters, mysteries, or tools to her. But what are we to you, Ivy de Souza? How far out of obsession did reality pull you?”
“Nothing’s changed for me,” I cried, rushing the island. “I don’t feel any differently for you guys than I did before we stepped on that bridge. I love you!”
“You can’t,” he snapped. “You’re not the same person.”
“Why are you so sure of that?” Suddenly, I was shouting too. “Okay, maybe I won’t watch the same shows or eat the same foods, but I’d still make you healthy breakfasts because those shakes are disgusting, and I love cooking. I’ll still massage Cairo’s temples because it was me who had those tantrums after losing my parents, but Gran always knew what to do to make me feel better. Cairo didn’t have love like that growing up, but he does now—from me.”
I thumped my chest. “I’ll still tell Roan things I thought I couldn’t tell anyone, because he trusted me even before I gave him reason. I’ll be the only one Legend shows his true side because even though he doubts it, there’s nothing he can do or say to drive me away. My love isn’t conditional like his parents’. And Arsenio...” I tossed my head. “That night with Alex Verlice would’ve sent my sweet, sheltered sister running far and fast, but not me. Arsenio doesn’t scare me. He never could. He’s my soulmate. You all are!
“Nothing that matters has changed. Why can’t you see that?!”
Slowly, rigidly, Jacques moved out from behind the island. “So what has?”
“Excuse me?”
“What has changed, de Souza? We may have to start over, but I’m not doing it at the beginning. Tell me who this woman is who expects to sleep in my bed, serve my meals, and fight a fight with me that she’s somehow the center of. Who are you, Ivy?”
I was quiet for a spell, observing him with the same look he gave me. Breaking free, I went to the window.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m answering your question, baby.” I drew the blinds and curtains shut. “For some reason, you and I are never closer than when I’m naked and vulnerable before you. Something that was easier for... who I used to be. So, help me get there.” Facing him, my fingers skimmed my shirt hem. “Ask me what you want to know, Jacques. Get me there.”
He eyed me warily. “Why play games? Just speak.”
“Because you never have to figure people out, Jacques. You answered the question of who they were a long time ago, then you filed it away in that storage room and never revisited it. You don’t get to take the shortcut with me, and I don’t get to keep my walls up with you. That’s why we make sense, Jacques Stone. So let’s not mess with what works.”