Total pages in book: 139
Estimated words: 131137 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 656(@200wpm)___ 525(@250wpm)___ 437(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 131137 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 656(@200wpm)___ 525(@250wpm)___ 437(@300wpm)
Clearly Shaya’s delight had caught Taryn’s and Derren’s attention, because they both appeared. “What’s going on?” asked Taryn.
Excited, Shaya told them. “I would love it.” And it would give her a sense of purpose—another thing she would enjoy having. Grateful, she snuggled against Nick.
Taryn nodded approvingly at Nick. “Good call, Axton. I actually wouldn’t have thought of that, and I’ve known her for forever.”
“What kind of mate would I be if I didn’t know her inside out?” Nick dropped a kiss on Shaya’s head.
“An Alpha female as a mediator,” drawled Taryn. “Even better.”
Nick shook his head in exasperation. “How many times do I have to say it? I’m not starting a pack. You’re almost as bad as…” Nick stopped, frowning. His mouth repeatedly opened and closed, but the name of the guy he was talking about, the guy in front of him who he had known for a long time, wouldn’t come out. It wouldn’t come out, because he couldn’t remember it. He reached for it again and again, feeling like it was on the tip of his tongue…but it didn’t come. His wolf growled and instantly began pacing, knowing this wasn’t good.
Shaya frowned in confusion, unsure what was wrong. “Hey, you okay?” Nick looked at her, but he didn’t answer. He seemed to be struggling with something. Totally baffled, she turned to Derren and raised a questioning brow. The guy was pale. What the hell was going on? “Nick, what is it?”
Nick shook himself out of it, determined to hide his panic from Shaya. How could he not panic? The memory lapse was a too-familiar feeling—a sign that his cognitive functions were again degenerating. That could only mean one thing…a thing he had dreaded and feared and hoped would never happen. And there was really only one thing he could do if he wanted his mate—the only thing that mattered to him—to live a full, happy life: leave that life.
His wolf didn’t agree with Nick’s decision, as the animal was too elemental in his way of thinking. Shaya was his mate, she was his, and so Nick must claim her—things were really that simple to his wolf. As such, he was raging with Nick for his decision to leave, pacing, growling, tearing into Nick with his claws. But Nick ignored his protests. This wasn’t something he would budge on, no matter how much it enraged his wolf, or how much it would hurt them both to do it.
Forcing a smile for Shaya, Nick kissed her gently on the mouth, wishing he could deepen it, take his time, and enjoy this one last taste of her. But his Shaya wasn’t stupid; she would know something was wrong, would sense the desperation in that kiss. Worse, she would insist that he stay, would demand that they face this together because that was who she was. So fucking brave and with such a big heart and a stubborn will.
He didn’t want her to one day find herself looking into the eyes of a person she had mated with and seeing nothing of that person there. He didn’t want her to spend her life without someone being there for her, loving her, and caring for her. She had already lost her twin, had been through enough. She needed and deserved to have somebody who could take of her, not for it to be the other way around.
“I just remembered I haven’t let Bruce out of the motor home for some air today.” Most likely because he was uncomfortable being in a house full of strange shifters, Bruce preferred to stay in the motor home most of the time. “I’ll be back in a minute,” he added, running his finger from her temple to her jawline, needing to touch her, needing that contact…and bracing himself to give it up.
Suspicious and, for a reason she wasn’t sure of, suddenly anxious, Shaya nonetheless nodded. “Okay.”
“I’ll be back in a minute.” He took one last moment to drink in the sight of her, drink in every single detail of her face, despite that each one was already committed to memory—a memory that would disintegrate until it eventually didn’t include her. The idea of that was enough to put a lump in his throat.
Ignoring his wolf’s raging, Nick forced another smile for her and then strolled out of the house. It hurt to do it. Hurt to do the one thing he’d sworn to her that he’d never do. Hurt to know he’d never again see her, never again hear her laugh, and never again experience the calm that only she gave him. But he’d do it for her. And it was for her, though he doubted she’d see it that way.
He hadn’t been inside the motor home for more than five seconds when Derren abruptly barged in. “What are you doing?”