Total pages in book: 135
Estimated words: 127484 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 637(@200wpm)___ 510(@250wpm)___ 425(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 127484 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 637(@200wpm)___ 510(@250wpm)___ 425(@300wpm)
He had softened with his wife and daughter, but toward anyone who would cause them harm, he’d become as hard and as brutal as me.
His sense of threat was honed, every limb in his body taut and ready to attack as he recognized a predator was near.
“Easy,” I told him as the soft light from the kitchen illuminated my form enough for him to recognize me.
The tension didn’t leave my brother’s face completely, his brows furrowing in irritation.
“You gotta stop doin’ that shit,” he growled, hands still fisted.
It wasn’t kind, me creeping out of the darkness, given the experiences he’d had with people threatening his family, but I wasn’t kind, was I?
“What am I gonna do?” I asked him, keeping my gait slow as I approached him. “Ring the doorbell at two in the morning?”
Irritation quickly left my brother’s face. Ugly emotions melted off him as easily as they always had. He shook his head, sitting in the wicker chair he’d burst up from.
I sat in the one beside him, glancing back into the house where I could see little but the large kitchen, a fridge tacked with photos, memories.
“Baby and Avery sleeping?” It might’ve been considered a stupid question at two in the morning, but I knew my brother and his wife still struggled with sleep.
He nodded, rubbing his jaw, looking tired.
“She doing better?” He knew who I was talking about. Avery had witnessed a man killed in front of her, after believing he was going to kill her and kidnap her baby. Not things easily recovered from.
Kane’s face instantly softened with reverence. “She’s doin’ fuckin’ great.” Pride and love burst from his tone.
That pleased me. I cared for Avery. As much as I had the ability to. I’d be forever in her debt for what she gave my brother, a life, a purpose, a child. A way out from our wretched fucking past.
.“Good.” I looked out toward where the ocean was enveloped by the night, listening to the gentle rumble of the waves, wondering if I’d ever have what my brother had. A home. With Piper.
So simple. Yet so out of reach. Even sitting there, my skin crawled with the need to escape, to slink back into the shadows where I was more comfortable. Where I belonged. Alone.
“How do you do it?” I choked the words out as if they were covered in blood and shards of bone. Which they were. I’d wrenched them out of my chest cavity.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my brother’s head turn toward me. I kept looking out at the blackness.
“Do what?” he asked, what I assumed was a forced casualness in his tone. He knew me, which meant he clocked the difference in my words, the cadence in which I spoke them.
My hands itched for a knife to tear through my skin. I let words do it instead. “Love someone.” The words themselves attacked me with pointed barbs, hurting me in the way I deserved for daring to love someone as perfect as Piper, sentencing her to a lifetime with me.
I could fucking taste my brother’s shock. He’d known the road I walked. None of the specifics, but he was smart enough to understand what I did. He was smart enough to recognize the cold creature I was. Endlessly, he’d tried to reach out, foster more of a relationship with me, yet I’d rebuked him every time.
Beyond the shock, I could feel the fucker’s elation. This was what he’d wanted for me, especially since he got married and had Mabel. Wanted to believe it was possible for me too.
He clapped me on the shoulder, and I was surprised I didn’t shatter into irreparable pieces. “It’s not something you do, brother.” There was warmth, and yes, fucking joy in his tone. “It’s something you … surrender to.” He paused, and even though I wasn’t looking at him, I was certain the prick was smiling. As if this were something to smile about. “Know you’re not exactly practiced in surrender.’
A bark of laughter escaped me. Nothing like his. Mine was cold and ugly and resentful. “No, I’m not,” I agreed, mulling over what he said.
Surrender.
Surrender to Piper. The life she promised. The redemption. At the cost of her soul.
“But I can’t,” I added. “I won’t ruin her life.”
It was clear then, crystal fucking clear. The clarity I needed.
I stood, running my hands through my hair, wanting to snatch it out at the root. Wanting to peel my feelings for Piper from my insides. But I couldn’t, they were already connected to all of my organs. Everything that kept my heart beating.
“This was a mistake,” I said, not looking at Kane, knowing that I’d given him something dangerous.
Hope.
“All of it.”
Without waiting for him to respond, without giving him another moment to believe that I was anything more than a subhuman, I walked back onto the beach.