Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 83461 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 417(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83461 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 417(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
Memories of last night.
I had no clue there had been reins on my libido when it came to Ava, but apparently, I’d been holding back. The minute we agreed to ditch the condoms, I couldn’t control the raging lust that overtook me. By all rights, I should be exhausted because we got almost no sleep, but I couldn’t fucking leave her alone.
This concerns me a bit. It’s true that I’ve been in two other monogamous relationships since my wife died, but it was months before I felt comfortable enough to do away with protection. Not because I had difficulty trusting those women, but it took me a long time to build to that level of intimacy. Some might say it was because Melissa’s ghost was hovering over me back then, but I don’t think that’s it.
All I can guess is that I’m attracted to Ava on a deeper level than with the women from my prior relationships. Part of it might be the raw physical attraction, but I think it has to do with getting to know her over a period in short bursts of almost daily interactions. I flirted with her for weeks and learned tiny bits of information about her. She became something I looked forward to every morning because while the coffee was good, I really went into The Grind and chose that particular table because I wanted to be around Ava.
Hell, I’m smart enough to know that some things just don’t have answers. You can only go with your gut, and my gut is telling me that Ava is something extraordinary.
The mere fact that my body reacts to her voice over the phone line is a strong indicator.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“Job searching,” she replies, sounding quite chipper and motivated.
“Anything looking good?”
“I don’t know,” she muses. “A couple of listings in human resources here in the Pittsburgh area, but there’s a really interesting job listing for a marketing manager for a speaker management agency in Charlotte, North Carolina. The job description is exactly what I had envisioned myself doing after college.”
The minute she says Charlotte, North Carolina, a pang of disappointment hits over the thought she might move away. She told me yesterday she was going to look for jobs in other states, but her preference is to stay in Pittsburgh or go back to North Carolina.
The fact there’s a job that excites her back in her home state doesn’t bode well for this turning into something more than what we have right now.
Still, I have to be happy for her if she’s reaching for her dreams. “That’s awesome. What’s the job description?”
I listen as Ava reads it to me, and there’s no mistaking the animation in her voice that tells me she really wants this. I try to be happy for her, and I even go against every instinct within me and send up a small prayer that she gets it. I know if she does, I’m going to be more than disappointed to have her leave, but I also have to remind myself I’m not exactly in the market for a deep relationship. I can’t commit the time that someone like Ava would deserve, and I know from personal experience just how damaging to a relationship a career in professional sports can be.
“It’s a long shot,” she says wistfully. “I mean, I’m sure there will be better qualified applicants.”
“All you need is an interview. A foot in the door. Then you sell yourself.”
“Hey… I can do that.” Her laughter makes me smile. “I will market the hell out of myself if they’ll give me five minutes of their time.”
“That’s my girl,” I reply softly, and I cringe a tiny bit at how possessive that sounds. Because I don’t mean it like that. More of an endearment.
There’s silence, and before it can turn awkward, I fill it with a change of subject. “Have any problems getting out of my place today?”
It was not a hardship to wake up this morning wrapped around Ava’s warm, naked body. I had a team plane to catch, but I didn’t want to rush her out. I told her to sleep in and left instructions on how to reset my alarm.
Clearly, she had no problem or I would’ve gotten an alarm notification, but I’m curious how long she loitered around my place, although I could’ve looked it up on my alarm app.
“I couldn’t go back to sleep after you headed out, so I got dressed and left.”
I smile at the memory of her sleepy grin when I kissed her temple. It was hard not to crawl back into bed with her, but my job doesn’t allow such flights of fancy.
“Will you be watching the game tonight?” I ask. She teased me last night that she’d have to bone up on hockey if she was banging the coach.