Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 84200 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84200 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
“How long has this been going on?” I asked because the way they were embraced indicated they had carnal knowledge of each other already.
With a big grin, she informed me that she had sex with him on New Year’s Eve and they’ve been “casually banging each other since.” I wanted more details, but she asked, “What’s going on with you and Camden?”
I never thought to lie or downplay it but I told her it was complicated and we were trying to figure it out. We were then pulled apart as Brienne wanted to introduce me to someone making a very large donation. I’ve not been able to talk to Kiera about any of this since that night.
Rubbing at my tired eyes, I lament my lack of sleep. Parting ways with Camden was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do in my life. It feels like a rough-edged dagger has been stabbed straight through my heart and then twisted for maximum punishment.
It was probably delusional, but I’d hoped his desire to be with me would outweigh his fears. It’s a sore rebuff that it didn’t. I’ve never been through a breakup before—Mitch having been the one and only I’d ever dated. All I can say is it sucks and I’m not handling it well.
Kiera breezes through the door, unwinding a deep purple scarf from around her neck and unbuttoning her brown wool coat. Only two other customers sit at a table on the opposite side of the room so her eyes land on me quickly.
Her face is already soft with empathy as she approaches. Shrugging out of her coat, she tosses it across the back of her chair and plops down. I nod at the cup of tea I’d ordered for her and the plate of scones between us. She wrinkles her nose and ignores them both, leaning forward. “What’s going on?”
I shake my head, my gaze dropping to my tea that I haven’t touched yet. It’s hard to find the right words. Nothing seems adequate to describe what’s happened between me and Camden, so I lift my eyes and admit, “I ended things with Camden last night and I feel awful about it.”
“So un-end it,” she replies as if that’s the most obvious answer.
“I can’t go backward.”
Kiera sighs and picks up her tea, takes a tiny sip and grimaces. She’s a coffee person and I know this about her, but this shop only sells tea. It’s for tea snobs. “Start from the beginning. All I know is you like Camden and he likes you, so catch me up.”
“It’s a bit more than like,” I say gloomily.
“On your part?”
“I think on both our parts.” My fingers trace the pattern of little roses on the saucer. “The feelings have gotten strong, but it’s complicated, for him more than me.”
Kiera pushes the tea away and picks up a scone. Holding it before her mouth, she says, “Let me guess… he feels he’s in Mitch’s shadow and can’t handle that.”
I shake my head. “On the contrary, no. We’ve had those talks and yes, I think he had some insecurities in the beginning, but he trusts that I don’t compare them. Camden knows what I had with Mitch was amazing, and what I have with him is amazing too.”
“Then what’s his problem?”
I lift a shoulder. “He wants us to see each other secretively. He’s not ready for the team to know about us. Thinks it will cause waves and people will judge and not understand.”
“So what? I mean… if y’all have feelings for each other and they’re genuine and deep… what does it matter what anyone else thinks?”
“It doesn’t matter to me. I’m confident that I should be able to move on with my life in any way I see fit. I loved Mitch with all my heart and I love his memory. That will never change. But I’m allowed to be happy again, and I will be. I’m just afraid it’s not going to be with Camden.”
“The whole teammate thing is the complicating factor,” Kiera muses, then nibbles on her scone. She licks crumbs off her lips. “I wonder if he’s talked to any of them. I mean, I know for one, Drake would never have a problem with you two dating. I bet most would be fine with it.”
“I think you’re right, especially since most of Mitch’s friends…” I trail off, not needing to say the words. The fact is, this is a new team with only Camden, Hendrix and Coen remaining from the original Titans roster. If anyone would think Camden is crossing a line he shouldn’t, it would be one of those guys.
“It’s nobody’s fucking business who we allow into our hearts, Danica.”
“I know. I agree.”
“Camden should know it too.”
“He knows it,” I say quietly, telling her the thing that hurts the most. “He knows it and believes it, but he’s too afraid to go for it.”