Total pages in book: 101
Estimated words: 98321 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 492(@200wpm)___ 393(@250wpm)___ 328(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98321 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 492(@200wpm)___ 393(@250wpm)___ 328(@300wpm)
“What?” He moved even closer, his sensual mouth hooking up on one side.
“That isn’t going to work.”
“What isn’t?”
“The smolder.” But I turned my face away so I wouldn’t have to see it.
“Come on, it always works.” He brushed his lips against my jaw, barely touching my skin, and inhaled deeply. “God, you smell good.”
“Enzo,” I whimpered as his mouth moved down my throat. He smelled good too, and my body was reacting to his nearness in ways that made me want to start taking off his clothes. But I had to be strong. “You need to stop. You’re only here because of what my brother told you. You don’t like the idea of me going out.”
“That’s true,” he said, his voice low and soft, his breath tickling the base of my throat. “I don’t.”
I frowned—he’d basically just confirmed what I suspected. He was only here because he didn’t want anyone else to play with his toys.
“But I also miss you, Bianca,” he breathed. “I miss your smell and your taste and your body. Come back.”
“To your bed?”
“Sure, we can start there.”
“And end up where?”
“The kitchen table? The shower? The back of my car? You name it.”
Gathering all my strength, I shook my head and pushed him away. “No. That’s not what I meant.”
He exhaled and backed off. “So tell me what you meant, because every time I try to guess, I guess wrong.”
“Just forget it. You should go.” I prayed he’d do what I said, because I was one breath away from falling apart.
Either that or fucking his brains out on the kitchen floor.
“What happened to us, Bianca?” Enzo shook his head, like he was truly baffled. “I thought we were having a good time.”
“We were, but . . . I got confused, okay?”
“Confused about what?”
“When we first made the deal, I knew exactly what I was getting into and why. You wanted a wife, and I wanted a baby, but the two lines weren’t supposed to cross. We were each going to get what we wanted without making a mess of the other person’s life. But it didn’t go down that way.”
“Are you saying I made a mess of your life?”
“I’m saying it happened.” Trying to hold myself together, I inhaled and exhaled. “I’ll take all the blame. It’s my fault. But jumping back into bed tonight would only make it worse.”
“How?”
I broke down and started to weep. “Because I’m not like you, Enzo! I can’t separate sex and feelings as easily as you can. Yes, I miss you. Yes, I lie awake at night wishing you were next to me. Yes, I am aware that I will probably never have orgasms as good as the ones I had with you. But those orgasms are not a good enough reason to toss my heart on a cutting board and hand you a knife!”
“I never asked you to do that!” he said angrily.
“No, of course not. In fact, you told me flat out not to fall for you. You’re into bodies, not hearts. I haven’t forgotten.”
“And this is why!” he yelled, gesturing back and forth between us. “This is what happens when people let their feelings fuck them up!”
“What feelings?” I cried. “You don’t have any feelings for me. You came here looking for sex!”
“I came here looking for you,” he said, pointing a finger at me. “But believe me, I regret it.”
“I can’t do this, Enzo.” I spoke softly, tears running down my face.
“Fuck, forget I said that.” He rubbed his face with both hands. “I didn’t mean it.”
“Let’s just end this here and now, okay?” I pleaded. “Before we both say things just to hurt each other, things that we don’t really mean? We’ve known from the start that we were never meant to be. It was just a piece of paper, remember? Just a business deal.”
He hung his head. “Yeah.”
“I’m—I’m sorry I lied to you about the pills.”
“I don’t care about that.”
“And I’m sorry I left so suddenly. I didn’t do it to hurt you—I did it to save myself.”
“From what?” he asked, looking up again. “I don’t get why all of a sudden you’re afraid of me.”
I took a deep breath, looked him in the eye, and spoke the truth. I had the feeling it was the only weapon I had left in my arsenal, the one thing that would send him running. “From falling deeper in love with you than I already am. From getting so attached to you that I’d never be able to walk away. From the crushing heartbreak of having to endure you leaving me.”
He looked stunned and stricken, almost like I’d punched him.
“Because you would have left, Enzo. Sooner or later, you would have left.” I made a fist and pressed it to my stomach. “I can’t give you what you want.”